Not to derail this brilliant joke, but I moved from the Midwestern US to western Canada, and I’m downright bummed every year to see there are next to zero haunted attractions. I think our local rock station occasionally hosts a haunted house at one of the malls, but there are no haunted woods, haunted farms, spooky spooks, jumpy jumps, and I’ve yet to see a single witch with a tray of cider and doughnuts. I never realized just what a localized tradition these things were until I moved away. Time to buy a few acres and show these lazy farmers what to do with their equipment in October. Waste of good spook-land.
Cheaper option: become really good friends with a farmer with lots of land and pitch him the idea to host a haunted hay ride. Charge $5-10/head and that should cover expenses and maybe even turn a little profit if you’ve got enough people in your neck of the haunted woods
Not to derail this brilliant joke, but I moved from the Midwestern US to western Canada, and I’m downright bummed every year to see there are next to zero haunted attractions. I think our local rock station occasionally hosts a haunted house at one of the malls, but there are no haunted woods, haunted farms, spooky spooks, jumpy jumps, and I’ve yet to see a single witch with a tray of cider and doughnuts. I never realized just what a localized tradition these things were until I moved away. Time to buy a few acres and show these lazy farmers what to do with their equipment in October. Waste of good spook-land.
Cheaper option: become really good friends with a farmer with lots of land and pitch him the idea to host a haunted hay ride. Charge $5-10/head and that should cover expenses and maybe even turn a little profit if you’ve got enough people in your neck of the haunted woods