Yeah it just makes the consequences of your poor relationship habits much worse
I’m poly and I still have to ensure someone is attractive to me and make sure I have good interpersonal connections with them before dating. Beyond the empathy aspects it’s just a disaster to have a girlfriend you love and a girlfriend you’re more attracted to. That’s like intentionally inducing jealousy
One of my favorite things about polyamorous people is how they can never fucking shut their goddamn mouths and trying to insert their bullshit everywhere.
Much like the… lovely lady or gentleman above, that’s a bit reductive. There’s no one true style of relationship, and tossing out polyamory as bad and wrong, or monogamy as antithetical to humans base drives both miss out on the fundamental truth that no one solution works for everyone. The worst of both camps are those who try to say they’re right and the other cannot work.
That’s a bit reductive isn’t it? I’m all for consensual and open polyamory, but what problem, exactly, is solved in this by polyamory? If either party wants monogamy, which is a fairly safe assumption in the world today, then the polyamory just becomes lying, and that doesn’t help anyone.
If you assume lying is involved, then that’s not polyamory, it’s cheating.
The important thing to understand here is that monogamy is a human construct, encouraged by people with self-serving agendas. It had to be learned. It can be unlearned.
Right. The reductive part is assuming this problem would be solved by polygamy, when realistically there’s nothing at all showing that’s the case, except that there’s a guy who wants multiple women for different reasons. We only know that he wants that, but nothing of the motives and desires of the others, and thus it’s reductive to say “polygamy fixes this”.
And your complete dismissal over a simple typographic error demonstrates that you never intended to have an actual discussion. I had actually edited my post to polygamy because I had, inaccurately, recalled you using that word. At the end of the day, polyamory and polygamy, yes they’re distinct. It doesn’t change my statement regardless of which is used, however.
A typographical error would be like saying rihgt instead of right. Polyamory and polygamy are completely different words. You were poisoning the well. Go argue with teenagers who don’t know what a fallacy is.
Poisoning the well implies an intent. Go reread my statement, replace “polygamy” with “polyamory” and then interface with it. Or keep showing you don’t intend to have a good faith discussion because someone used a slightly incorrect word.
Again, I know there’s a difference. It does not matter to the statement I made. You’re relying on a silly gotcha instead of attacking the argument. And, even if I WAS poisoning the well, it doesn’t somehow make you right because you saw a logical fallacy.
Monogamy is a pair bonding strategy as old as humans. It developed at roughly the same time as polyamorous strategies. There’s a strong body of evidence that it became a very prominent strategy around 10-20k years ago, especially in areas with resource strains.
If you want to have multiple partners, by all means, do so, but don’t pretend it’s some construct. It’s a sexual selection strategy hardwired into many different species, including humans.
It just happens to coexist with polyamorous strategies in our species.
It’s no more conditioned by society than polyamory. Animals exhibit both strategies. You seem to be conflating institutions like marriage with sexual selection.
Sure it solves the problem of having to choose between 2 options while introduces an endless stream of discussions of solving issues that come up. If you’re bored and want to constantly discuss about the meta of your life, of your priorities and of your boundaries is indeed perfect
Dude, issues like this don’t. I’m happily poly and have been in two stable relationships for several years. Polyamory is awesome and also not for everyone, but above all else it’s not a solution to any relationship problems beyond “I wish I was able to have multiple relationships”. It’s like how having kids will solve the relationship problem of wanting kids, but if you misdiagnosed you’re about to have a very difficult time.
Yeah I never said I’m a monogamist but truth is, these issues are multiplied when more people are involved. Even how you decide to split your time is prone to multiple issues. Claiming poly is easier and automatically solves problems is naive.
Yet another “problem” polyamory solves
snaps fingers
Just like that
Polyamory is wrong! It’s either polyphilia or multiamory, you never mix Greek and Latin.
I’m sure the Greeks wouldn’t mind mixing with the Romans in a big polyamorous puddle
What’s poly/multi about maintaining a single base language?
I don’t make the rules
Disrespecting your partners and only seeing what they can do for you is not fixed by polyamory
Yeah it just makes the consequences of your poor relationship habits much worse
I’m poly and I still have to ensure someone is attractive to me and make sure I have good interpersonal connections with them before dating. Beyond the empathy aspects it’s just a disaster to have a girlfriend you love and a girlfriend you’re more attracted to. That’s like intentionally inducing jealousy
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I was referring to the problem of having to choose, not the problem of the guy being a fragile douche
One of my favorite things about polyamorous people is how they can never fucking shut their goddamn mouths and trying to insert their bullshit everywhere.
It’s like they’re always trying to convince everyone as well as themselves.
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Much like the… lovely lady or gentleman above, that’s a bit reductive. There’s no one true style of relationship, and tossing out polyamory as bad and wrong, or monogamy as antithetical to humans base drives both miss out on the fundamental truth that no one solution works for everyone. The worst of both camps are those who try to say they’re right and the other cannot work.
That’s a bit reductive isn’t it? I’m all for consensual and open polyamory, but what problem, exactly, is solved in this by polyamory? If either party wants monogamy, which is a fairly safe assumption in the world today, then the polyamory just becomes lying, and that doesn’t help anyone.
If you assume lying is involved, then that’s not polyamory, it’s cheating.
The important thing to understand here is that monogamy is a human construct, encouraged by people with self-serving agendas. It had to be learned. It can be unlearned.
Right. The reductive part is assuming this problem would be solved by polygamy, when realistically there’s nothing at all showing that’s the case, except that there’s a guy who wants multiple women for different reasons. We only know that he wants that, but nothing of the motives and desires of the others, and thus it’s reductive to say “polygamy fixes this”.
Your change in verbiage from polyamory to polygamy demonstrates you have no interest in critical inquiry, you just want to argue.
And your complete dismissal over a simple typographic error demonstrates that you never intended to have an actual discussion. I had actually edited my post to polygamy because I had, inaccurately, recalled you using that word. At the end of the day, polyamory and polygamy, yes they’re distinct. It doesn’t change my statement regardless of which is used, however.
A typographical error would be like saying rihgt instead of right. Polyamory and polygamy are completely different words. You were poisoning the well. Go argue with teenagers who don’t know what a fallacy is.
Poisoning the well implies an intent. Go reread my statement, replace “polygamy” with “polyamory” and then interface with it. Or keep showing you don’t intend to have a good faith discussion because someone used a slightly incorrect word.
Again, I know there’s a difference. It does not matter to the statement I made. You’re relying on a silly gotcha instead of attacking the argument. And, even if I WAS poisoning the well, it doesn’t somehow make you right because you saw a logical fallacy.
Monogamy is a pair bonding strategy as old as humans. It developed at roughly the same time as polyamorous strategies. There’s a strong body of evidence that it became a very prominent strategy around 10-20k years ago, especially in areas with resource strains.
If you want to have multiple partners, by all means, do so, but don’t pretend it’s some construct. It’s a sexual selection strategy hardwired into many different species, including humans.
It just happens to coexist with polyamorous strategies in our species.
If it was hard-wired, it would be impossible to unlearn. It is possible to unlearn. This is proof it’s not hard-wired, it’s conditioned by society.
It’s no more conditioned by society than polyamory. Animals exhibit both strategies. You seem to be conflating institutions like marriage with sexual selection.
Sure it solves the problem of having to choose between 2 options while introduces an endless stream of discussions of solving issues that come up. If you’re bored and want to constantly discuss about the meta of your life, of your priorities and of your boundaries is indeed perfect
Those “issues” come up in any relationship. The difference is monogamists have built-in entitlement.
Dude, issues like this don’t. I’m happily poly and have been in two stable relationships for several years. Polyamory is awesome and also not for everyone, but above all else it’s not a solution to any relationship problems beyond “I wish I was able to have multiple relationships”. It’s like how having kids will solve the relationship problem of wanting kids, but if you misdiagnosed you’re about to have a very difficult time.
Yeah I never said I’m a monogamist but truth is, these issues are multiplied when more people are involved. Even how you decide to split your time is prone to multiple issues. Claiming poly is easier and automatically solves problems is naive.
Assuming the problems are multiplied is naive. What is actually multiplied is solutions. If you tried it, you might know this.