This might because I have more confidence in myself now and the act is now being done using the correct parts. I’m just surprised how much my needs have increase because before surgery I was meh to sex.
This might because I have more confidence in myself now and the act is now being done using the correct parts. I’m just surprised how much my needs have increase because before surgery I was meh to sex.
This is the TransFem community. Bottom surgery refers to surgery on the genitalia, most commonly vaginoplasty. “Having the correct parts”, in this context, means no longer having genitalia that cause you dysphoria. She is able to have sex without feeling self repulsed or ashamed, and therefore has become much more interested in sex and has a higher libido.
But my question is - why would someone ever feel “repulsed or ashamed” to have same sex attraction in the first place? I mean, I’m gay and I love that about me - it’s been a huge blessing. I feel my masculinity is super-charged by my gayness. And even if you transition from male to female, doesn’t that mean you still want men for sex partners (so how could man-sex be disgusting or repulsive, unless someone thinks men are so vile and monstrous, in which case, doing something to transition to a female makes no sense to me at all). Just asking - I’m not trying to insult anyone, I’m all for anyone being whatever they choose - i’m just curious.
You are conflating gender identity with sexual orientation. A woman attracted to a man is heterosexual, trans or not. But in either case this post has absolutely nothing to do with sexual orientation.
I’ll speak personally for a moment. Note this is my experience and not universal by any means. Having a penis absolutely disgusted me. It is not that way for all trans women, but for me it was revolting. I hated seeing it, I hated interacting with it, and I couldn’t stand anyone else to interact with it either. It made me feel gross, like I had some kind of growth on my body that was entirely foreign to me. I was deeply ashamed of having one, and several times in my own childhood, long before I knew what sex was at all, I had recurring strong feelings about removing it.
My first sexual experiences made me sick. Simply sitting there and being able to feel it, knowing it was there, made me feel sick. It was wrong, innately wrong that was not how my body should be. For years and years while my friends and peers were maturing and experiencing sexuality and romance I was incapable of enjoying those things. I had sex, and I dated both straight women and gay men. I never once felt like my partners truly understood me, and all the time felt that I was lying to them and that they really didn’t know who they were dating. Being seen and treated as man, even in queen context, made me severely depressed. And when it came to sex I was a passive participant in most of it. I felt no enjoyment with gay men or straight women, and would lie a lot about whether I was actually into what was happening. Feelings of shame and guilt would consume me for days after. Feelings of disgust at my own body, revulsion at the things people did to my body, and dread at the way my partners saw me.
This has entirely changed since I’ve had bottom surgery. I transitioned over 8 years ago but only recently have been able to get vaginoplasty and it has totally revitalized nearly every aspect of my life. My body feels like my own, and my partner has never known me as a anything other than the woman I am. They recognize me, they treat me very well and validate me and my feelings. Sex never makes me feel ashamed, having sex is enjoyable now. Just existing at all is free from the constant dread of knowing my penis was there that it existed at all. I feel whole in a way I never have before.
I transitioned for me. Not for anyone else. I got vaginoplasty for me. I didn’t do it to fuck men, or to fuck women. I didn’t do it for purely sexual reasons. I did it because having a vagina has made me infinitely happier. Because I deserve to live in a body that I love, a body that makes me feel beautiful and happy not repulsed and ashamed. I transitioned because this is me, this is who I am. I’m not a man and I never was. And now I will never have to pretend to be ever again.
^ this person gets it
I think you misunderstood - it’s not about who OP is having sex with, it’s about sex now (or, at least soon, hopefully) being possible for OP without having to use sexy bits that feel like they’re the wrong ones.
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