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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/aita-account-34578 on 2023-06-25 13:59:50+00:00.
Me (f29) and my boyfriend Jack (m34) are planning to move in together. The apartment is in a pretty upscale neighborhood from where I currently live with a housemate. Me and her have always split costs 50-50.
Jack has a high paying job and earns significantly more than my job. I’m also currently working on a diploma and have another semester to go.
We’re usually good about making decisions together but hit a bump with this. Basically, Jack thinks household costs (bills, groceries and so on) should be split 50-50 between us, but I think that’s completely unfair and should be proportional to our income. One of his reasons is that I’m fine splitting costs with my housemate equally, but I think that’s different because 1. me and her are housemates, not partners and 2. we’re on a similar financial level.
We’ve gone back and forth on this and both blew up at each other. He said I was acting like a leech and I should just use my savings, but I got kind of pissed and told him he needs to understand not everyone has as much money as him and it’s a lot harder for me.
A friend of mine suggested I post here and she also thinks I’m being unreasonable.
AITA?
“From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.”
Splitting costs proportionally by income is fair and equitable. You’re not a leech if you’re truly putting in what effort you reasonably can.