UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (The Borowitz Report)—Millions of Americans are terrified by the dawning realization that Rep. Mike Johnson is the adult in the room, millions of Americans have confirmed.

Across the country, residents of the United States were initially cheered by the possibility that an adult was in the room, but were immediately shattered by the discovery that said adult was Rep. Johnson.

  • @moistclump
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    1410 months ago

    I thought this was going to be an Onion headline. I guess I’d temporarily forgotten about which timeline we’re in.

    • @shalafi
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      310 months ago

      Me too! “This one is gonna be great!”

      newyorker.com

      Reality has jumped the shark. I want a do over.

      • @Jarix
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        16 months ago

        I’m confused. Do you think this isn’t a satire?

        Satire from The Borowitz Report

        Nation Terrified That Mike Johnson Is the Adult in the Room

        By Andy Borowitz