In the frigid vastness of space, the R.L.S. Legacy soared like a sleek comet. Led by the indomitable Captain Jim Hawkins, whose eyes sparkled with stardust and ambition, he and his crew forged thei…
New story, I hope you like it. Feedback always welcome.
I can see what you are trying to do in this text, but as a metaphor it doesn’t really work and the use of “open web” etc makes it too up front as well. Which leaves this text in a weird half metaphorical / half not situation that is rather confusing.
Ok, I see. To be honest, I didn’t put as much thought in this than in the last stories. Maybe it would have worked if it was longer … I will think about it! Thanks anyway for the feedback.
And it isn’t very Solarpunkish 😉
the use of “open web” etc makes it too up front as well
That’s true. But otherwise, I don’t think the idea would have come across
Well yes, but Solarpunk also supported dezentrality 😇
the use of “open web” etc makes it too up front as well
I can see what you are trying to do in this text, but as a metaphor it doesn’t really work and the use of “open web” etc makes it too up front as well. Which leaves this text in a weird half metaphorical / half not situation that is rather confusing.
And it isn’t very Solarpunkish 😉
Ok, I see. To be honest, I didn’t put as much thought in this than in the last stories. Maybe it would have worked if it was longer … I will think about it! Thanks anyway for the feedback.
That’s true. But otherwise, I don’t think the idea would have come across
Well yes, but Solarpunk also supported dezentrality 😇