Hello to my friends from Lemmy, the title may be misleading to some.
Long story short, I was in a relationship for a bit over 2 years and I broke up with her recently. I blocked her everywhere, and initially struggled with not thinking about her and our relationship all the time, but now I find it hard to think. Although I have coped and detached very well, it seems that I have nothing to think of, and if I’m not spending my time on entertainment or studying (e.g. in the car) I resort to thinking about my relationship again. It’s been making me really unproductive and I’m not even sure what I was like when I was single.
It’s not that I am obsessed with “her” or feeling anything, but I can’t focus on nothing - it seems that my mental resources keep running and forcing me to concentrate on something. But I don’t want to think of “her” again. The past few days I often thought of “her” sexually romantically or as physically present, but now I often stress about the relationship itself and question all the decisions I may have made in the relationship. I mean I’ve considered actions and things that happened in my relationship in a productive way but I keep on going back to thinking of those things again (which isn’t helpful at all).
Does anyone have advice on how I can sit and focus productively or even neutrally, instead of trying to rethink and overthink a relationship that I’ve already thought of.
Edit: if you want further info about the relationship itself, https://lemmy.world/post/727078
Love, and by extension the relationship that comes with it, trigger the same parts of the brain that addictions do. What you are experiencing sounds like the withdrawal symptoms of that addiction.
They will subside eventually.
The hard part is not replacing your addiction with another one. Or at least not with a bad one.
Thanks, but what do I even think about 😭 before I used to be obsessed with minor things such as random words and calculus problems, during my relationship I felt as if I had nothing to think about and I was fine with it. Now I have a lot of mental entropy. It’s vacations so plenty of time to figure out, but man do I feel unproductive at times! Still often get reminded of her but now I am able to put her thought to the side at will.
I really like your perspective.