• Chill Dude 69
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    11 months ago

    The guy out there on the surfboard, with the umbrella…he REALLY IS doing it right. You know how I know? He’s got a shirt and a hat on, too.

    He’s not out there, trying to get skin cancer. There is no rule that says “if I don’t massively increase my risk of dying from malignant melanoma, I’m not really a cool dude.” But a lot of people seem to think there is.

    I’m a chubby bald guy. People think I wear a hat and a shirt to the fucking beach/pool because I’m trying to hide my fatness and my baldness. No, man. I’m hiding my weak-ass white skin from Mr. Sun. That shit is the only kind of cancer anyone in my family has ever gotten, too, and it is NOT going to get me. But, also, I do still like fun.

    And don’t let any of these whackos come at you with the whole Vitamin D trip. I take that shit in pill form, yo. It’s cool that my cells can make it, but it’s not necessary, in the 21st Century.