Dont take it personally in my experience its a combination of 2 things.
They dont want to remind you that you got laid off. If you’re doing it tough they dont want to be like “hey man, we had some good times back when you had a job remember?”
You are a very real reminder that the same thing could happen to them. Even if you landed on your feet, they might not.
That combined means that reaching out and catching up is just kinda scary. I had an amazing night at a bar with an old work bestie when we bumped into each other a few months after he got sacked.
That’s fair the survivor’s guilt is probably real. I think I’ve been really stuck in my own head about my feelings and situation I’ve been struggling with that understanding.
I think I need to think about this. Thank you for your perspective.
Yeah quite a bit: gaming and going to bars and shows. I felt like I got pretty close to the people I worked with, not unprofessionally or party animal but just an ear and a shoulder.
After a bit of a cool off period I would reach out to one of them. Ask if they want to get a beer or something, I’ve left jobs that I had friends at. Some of them, it turns out, were really just work friends, but some of them were just waiting to see if I wanted to reconnect and were happy to hang
Had a coworker move onto a job that pays double what we make (much less stability, which is why I dont want to follow) but I still saw his ass for a beer for xmas this week. Cause we’re friends.
Dont take it personally in my experience its a combination of 2 things.
They dont want to remind you that you got laid off. If you’re doing it tough they dont want to be like “hey man, we had some good times back when you had a job remember?”
You are a very real reminder that the same thing could happen to them. Even if you landed on your feet, they might not.
That combined means that reaching out and catching up is just kinda scary. I had an amazing night at a bar with an old work bestie when we bumped into each other a few months after he got sacked.
That’s fair the survivor’s guilt is probably real. I think I’ve been really stuck in my own head about my feelings and situation I’ve been struggling with that understanding.
I think I need to think about this. Thank you for your perspective.
Did you guys hang outside of work?
Yeah quite a bit: gaming and going to bars and shows. I felt like I got pretty close to the people I worked with, not unprofessionally or party animal but just an ear and a shoulder.
After a bit of a cool off period I would reach out to one of them. Ask if they want to get a beer or something, I’ve left jobs that I had friends at. Some of them, it turns out, were really just work friends, but some of them were just waiting to see if I wanted to reconnect and were happy to hang
OR, you moved up in the world. That’s a friendship killer.
Then those motherfuckers aint your friends.
Had a coworker move onto a job that pays double what we make (much less stability, which is why I dont want to follow) but I still saw his ass for a beer for xmas this week. Cause we’re friends.
thats why work friendships are not really friendships