I’m letting people who hurt me in the past live rent free in my mind.
One episode involves a former landlord that tried to run me over in an intersection with no traffic cameras.
Another one involves a manager that fired me for informing that one of his favorites yelled during night shift and ignored alarms to talk. He fired me the next day, used the exit interview to tell me everything I didn’t do right (but kept quiet about his favorites, even though I did the job like them), still had the utmost confidence on his favorites, accused me of being lazy and instead of simply firing me and keeping neutral he chose to take it personal, proceeded to try to scare me insinuating I wouldn’t work for his system again, when that failed, tried to humiliate me and then fired me. This was in an non union hospital.
When I think about it I get angry. Id like not to be so thin skinned, but here I am.
This quote from Worf (ST:TNG). Admittedly I’m still working at it and by no means perfect, but it does help when thoughts like this from the past arise:
It’s simplistic and sounds easier than it is given such complicated topics. But on the surface, it does help me to remember why it’s ultimately not in my best interest to think about destructive/negative things.
You can’t heal if you tear the wound open again and only the dead never scar over. Surviving is hard enough, you don’t need to carry the weight of those you hate.