When Biden attacks Trump, it’s dog bites man. But when Haley hits him, it’s news. And she can remind voters of all the bad things about Trump they’ve forgotten.
"Trump has called me a birdbrain, has insulted my character, and has made sexist and xenophobic comments about me.
"Well, primary voters, I cannot let this go without a response! And so, Mr. Trump, hear me now:
"If you continue your campaign of hate and division, I will have no choice but to drop out of the primary and endorse you.
"Make no mistake! I am no threat to you Mr. Trump. None! I will pardon you if elected, but do not for a second misunderstand! I will not be elected.
Unless as your VP. So read my lips: Where. Do. I. Submit. My. Resume.
"I know you like loyalty, Mr. Trump. Well, let me teach you a lesson or two about loyalty: If chosen, I will submissively serve you. And nothing - not laws, norms, or the interests of the country - will slow me down. Hear me again: I will NOT back down from any loyalty test you throw at me.
“In closing, remember: I will do anything to drink from the sweet bloody chalice of power at any cost. Thank you.”
Nikki’s draft speech leaked:
"Trump has called me a birdbrain, has insulted my character, and has made sexist and xenophobic comments about me.
"Well, primary voters, I cannot let this go without a response! And so, Mr. Trump, hear me now:
"If you continue your campaign of hate and division, I will have no choice but to drop out of the primary and endorse you.
"Make no mistake! I am no threat to you Mr. Trump. None! I will pardon you if elected, but do not for a second misunderstand! I will not be elected. Unless as your VP. So read my lips: Where. Do. I. Submit. My. Resume.
"I know you like loyalty, Mr. Trump. Well, let me teach you a lesson or two about loyalty: If chosen, I will submissively serve you. And nothing - not laws, norms, or the interests of the country - will slow me down. Hear me again: I will NOT back down from any loyalty test you throw at me.
“In closing, remember: I will do anything to drink from the sweet bloody chalice of power at any cost. Thank you.”
Is this really actually Al Franken? If so, huge fan of your comedy and your politics.
It really is in that style.