Regular reminder to anyone that needs it, probably OP:
Binging TV or games is often a coping measure, albeit a not very good one. It can make us feel more panicked and exacerbate self worth issues. I know this because I do it a lot and try to give myself this same advice. Because of this, I also know that what I’m saying here is hard to internalise, especially when the world has you inundated with messages that drag you down.
But you are not the problem. You have problems, and sometimes you fuck up and make things harder for yourself, but you are trying your best and the fact it feels like you’re barely scraping by is more a function of the fucked up world than it is of you. Try not to beat yourself up too much for struggling.
I know it’s a different kind of demoralising to acknowledge this, and that it’s a different disempowering to believe that fucked up things aren’t necessarily your fault, but try to be kind to yourself. The world is shit, and I feel shit, but we’re trying our best, for ourselves and the world. Communities exist because it’s not possible or ideal for us to be struggling alone, and it’s harder to build that kind of support when you’re being harsh on yourself.
So whoever needs to hear it, I forgive you for procrastinating when you’re overwhelmed. It may well be a dumbass move that makes everything harder, but it can also be an imperfect coping measure to help you survive. Surviving is the bare minimum, sure, but it’s good, because it means that there’s the potential to be more than what your environment currently allows.
Thank you, I needed to read this. Currently trying to find a job in another state, and there’s just slim pickings. I want to get out of my current position and location so bad, but it’s depressing going on sites like Indeed and seeing nothing promising every day. So I just keep playing games each night, hoping for a change to… idk, fall in my lap?
Doesn’t sound like you’re waiting for things to fall in your lap to me, you’re actively searching and have formulated your plans to move away and make changes, when the right opportunity comes you’ll be ready to recognize and seize it.
Funnily enough, yeah Oregon! Or Washington. I’m aiming to move somewhere in the Portland/Vancouver area. My job is… somewhat niche. There are several companies in the area, but many of them seem to be not so great/kind of slavedrivery. I interviewed with 3 so far, and the 1 I really liked ghosted me after I came up and spent a whole day hanging out with them at their office. The owner straight up had told me he’d send an offer my way, so no clue what happened there.
There are maybe a couple more I know about that I’d like to reach out to, but barring that i’m not sure what to do. There seem to be a LOT more companies up near Seattle, but well… it’s just about as expensive to live there as where I live now, and I don’t like big cities much.
Thanks for saying this… I have a lot of guilt because I left grad school early. I was hired at a company and my advisor urged me to take the rare job in exactly my field and we would finish my thesis later. It’s been a year and I’ve not defended. My advisor won’t even read what I have written even though I met with them and they agreed to. I had a lot written at one point but they said it was shit and to delete it and start over. When I think about it or about opening it I just feel panicked. When I was at university I had started to attend free counseling the school offered (because a lot of students had been committing suicide) and the counseling really helped me feel better but now I definitely can’t get any.
I don’t need to defend to have my job but I just want it over and I’m scared I won’t finish. One of my coworkers had been pestering me about it for a year and I finally just told them I did defend because I didn’t want them to talk to me like I’m stupid everyday. I feel bad about that too
Regular reminder to anyone that needs it, probably OP:
Binging TV or games is often a coping measure, albeit a not very good one. It can make us feel more panicked and exacerbate self worth issues. I know this because I do it a lot and try to give myself this same advice. Because of this, I also know that what I’m saying here is hard to internalise, especially when the world has you inundated with messages that drag you down.
But you are not the problem. You have problems, and sometimes you fuck up and make things harder for yourself, but you are trying your best and the fact it feels like you’re barely scraping by is more a function of the fucked up world than it is of you. Try not to beat yourself up too much for struggling.
I know it’s a different kind of demoralising to acknowledge this, and that it’s a different disempowering to believe that fucked up things aren’t necessarily your fault, but try to be kind to yourself. The world is shit, and I feel shit, but we’re trying our best, for ourselves and the world. Communities exist because it’s not possible or ideal for us to be struggling alone, and it’s harder to build that kind of support when you’re being harsh on yourself.
So whoever needs to hear it, I forgive you for procrastinating when you’re overwhelmed. It may well be a dumbass move that makes everything harder, but it can also be an imperfect coping measure to help you survive. Surviving is the bare minimum, sure, but it’s good, because it means that there’s the potential to be more than what your environment currently allows.
Thank you, I needed to read this. Currently trying to find a job in another state, and there’s just slim pickings. I want to get out of my current position and location so bad, but it’s depressing going on sites like Indeed and seeing nothing promising every day. So I just keep playing games each night, hoping for a change to… idk, fall in my lap?
Doesn’t sound like you’re waiting for things to fall in your lap to me, you’re actively searching and have formulated your plans to move away and make changes, when the right opportunity comes you’ll be ready to recognize and seize it.
which one? if not Oregon where I live, maybe another user from your target state can see this and offer some more local labor guidance.
a big part of success is luck. sucks. but it means opportunity can come from unexpected places.
Funnily enough, yeah Oregon! Or Washington. I’m aiming to move somewhere in the Portland/Vancouver area. My job is… somewhat niche. There are several companies in the area, but many of them seem to be not so great/kind of slavedrivery. I interviewed with 3 so far, and the 1 I really liked ghosted me after I came up and spent a whole day hanging out with them at their office. The owner straight up had told me he’d send an offer my way, so no clue what happened there.
There are maybe a couple more I know about that I’d like to reach out to, but barring that i’m not sure what to do. There seem to be a LOT more companies up near Seattle, but well… it’s just about as expensive to live there as where I live now, and I don’t like big cities much.
Thanks for saying this… I have a lot of guilt because I left grad school early. I was hired at a company and my advisor urged me to take the rare job in exactly my field and we would finish my thesis later. It’s been a year and I’ve not defended. My advisor won’t even read what I have written even though I met with them and they agreed to. I had a lot written at one point but they said it was shit and to delete it and start over. When I think about it or about opening it I just feel panicked. When I was at university I had started to attend free counseling the school offered (because a lot of students had been committing suicide) and the counseling really helped me feel better but now I definitely can’t get any.
I don’t need to defend to have my job but I just want it over and I’m scared I won’t finish. One of my coworkers had been pestering me about it for a year and I finally just told them I did defend because I didn’t want them to talk to me like I’m stupid everyday. I feel bad about that too