• @[email protected]
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    11 months ago

    Same with porn. But I’m building a shake-power generator for fleshlites so it should balance out the power it pulls. Saving the earth one jack-off at a time.

    Charging a hybrid car battery only takes 253.4 jerks. Pretty soon we will be expanding our charging service to parking lots across America and Canada! Most of them already have people willing to do it for you already …they were doing it there anyway… Win/win.

    Powerjerk ™, we make perverts work for you!

    Just roll up and say “Hey Jagoff, I need to get to x!” And you’ll promptly be taken care of.*

    *Do not give them drugs to speed up the process. We are serious about our drug-free workplace.

    Edit: steal my idea and I’ll find you

    • @XeroxCool
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      11 months ago

      Energy isn’t free. More power captured from jerking will increase food consumed, meaning more energy used in farming. You’ll have to brand this as either a carbon capture fapture system or as a weight loss program

      • @[email protected]
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        511 months ago

        1 kilowatt hour is about 870kCal.

        Humans are incredibly inefficient power generators. I can buy 1kWh of electricity from the grid for about 18 cents (generation…transmission is extra).

        I don’t think I can buy 870kCal of food for 18 cents. Certainly not a healthy source. And that’s even assuming 100% efficiency. Any high school physics student will tell you that won’t happen.

        • @Clent
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          211 months ago

          Drinking one gallon of gasoline has enough calories to keep you alive for the rest of your life.

      • @[email protected]
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        11 months ago

        Join our team of Jerks. We have a stiff sign on bonus.

        By chance are you good at “shooting ropes”? Our clients love ropes.

      • @MycelialMass
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        311 months ago

        The new Weight Loss Jerkoff System could solve part of that

      • Jamyang
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        211 months ago

        The studs at the local Blue Oyster don’t call me Spider Man for no reason.

    • GratefullyGodless
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      311 months ago

      Bur, what if they prematurely finish and my car isn’t charged yet?

    • @xX_fnord_Xx
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      211 months ago

      I have an ancient hermetic method of getting off that requires neither computer or phone. Enquire within if you seek this ancient knowledge.