National security officials are used to shaking off absurd conspiracy theories, but the latest rumor that’s gripped MAGA world just hits different.

The claims by Fox News and far-right influencers that pop star Taylor Swift is part of a Pentagon “psychological operation” to get President Joe Biden reelected, and somehow rig the Super Bowl to benefit Kansas City Chiefs tight end (and Swift’s boyfriend) Travis Kelce, has been met with forehead slaps in the national security world.

“The absurdity of it all boggles the mind,” said one senior administration official, granted anonymity because they were not authorized to comment publicly on the matter. “It feels like one of those ‘tell me you are a MAGA conspiracy theorist, without telling me you are a MAGA conspiracy theorist’ memes.”

  • @Leviathan
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    2811 months ago

    You guys need to elect a black man with a heavy inner-city accent who enacts serious change so you can break them all the way once and for all.

      • @Leviathan
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        2111 months ago

        Fuck, if only! Or a gay black man who does drag as a hobby.

        • @MojoMcJojo
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          711 months ago

          If they can negotiate on foreign policy and domestic policy, then they can work it.

        • @model_tar_gz
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          511 months ago

          He smokes cannabis daily as he pardons himself with every puff.

          • @Leviathan
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            311 months ago

            Disagree! Caffeine enema days could mean leaps and bounds in policy foreign and domestic!

    • @EdibleFriend
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      2111 months ago

      I was about to make a joke about President Camacho but then, I remembered, that fucker, that HORRIBLE PARODY OF A PRESIDENT, is so much better then what we got with Trump. Camacho saw some serious shit was going on and said ‘holy fuck lets let the smart guy fix this.’

      He recognized and openly admitted to his own shortcomings.