Does anyone else feel a degree of imposter syndrome with work, like it’s only matter of time until you can’t work around your ADHD enough to avoid problems and everything falls apart?
I’m currently provisionally diagnosed with ADHD, pending further testing. I managed to get a degree and was working for a few years when someone recommended I get tested where I proceeded to finally pass this one test with flying colors…
My experience with work is that in the beginning, my attitude and enthusiasm to learn tends to give my bosses the impression that I have so much potential.
Then, cue the slow car crash that is me failing to meet that potential, then the cracks starting to show due to disorganisstion or task paralysis in my work, eventually putting me in a position where my competency is questioned and I’m falling behind on work because I’m struggling to meet (imo) great expectations that might seem realistic to neurotypical people, but is a struggle for me.
Then I jump ship to a new job, and the cycle restarts.
I thought I had a handle on my latest job. Stayed for just over a year. I thought this was it, I wasn’t an imposter, I was finally fitting in. Then cracks, and everything fell apart and I’m now at risk of losing my job again. I tried my best, and I just feel disappointed in myself, like even I can’t trust myself to do things right even at max effort.
This sucks.
I could have written this. It sums up my work experience exactly.
You recognize your flaws and mistakes, but here’s a likely one you’re forgetting. We tend to take mistakes VERY seriously. At least for me, I could watch 10 people make major mistakes, and be very understanding. I’d be like, that’s ok, it happens. We can work around it. But if I forget a minor detail, I’m going to be beating myself up for the few days, and worry how much longer until I get fired.
Just yesterday I found out that I had opened an email, got distracted and never replied or took action and it caused a problem for another dept. Ruined my night, but I’m going to remember this post and go in to work today and not let that hang over my head.
Best wishes to you!
This exact thing has bitten me so many times!!
I’ll open an email, maybe not pick up on the need to action (especially if multiple people are required to action on things), and then my boss gets to hear about my lack of follow up.
I’ve tried to keep a list, like I’m working on individual work tickets which has helped, but even then I still miss a couple of items.