[Update] Will properly come out to my wife of 6 years in the next week or so. Any advice is appreciated ✨️ - Lemmy.World
lemmy.world
Link to my first post. When we were sharing our new year’s resolutions with each other earlier this month, I told her I want to he more true to myself, and more honest with her. I told her she deserves that, and that I love her. We have talked about having “a conversation” soon. For us, we understand this to mean at least 2-3 hours where we sit down intending to talk without being interrupted. Time has continued to get away from us as we are settling into being parents as well with a 2 month old. We have each made mentions of, “the conversation”, and how we haven’t forgotten, just haven’t had the right moment yet. Girls, I am just so proud of myself for taking this step. Even though nothing has really happened yet, it feels like more has happened in the last month than in my entire life.

Back on February 3rd, I came out to my wife. TLDR, she is amazing and I love her.

We had just settled in with some cocoa for the night after getting the kiddo to sleep. We both knew yo get comfy, since we would be there a while. I told her very directly that I am a transgender woman, and shared some of how that has been exciting, terrifying, and depressing at times, still being in the closet.

There were some tears, which she later told me were on my behalf because she had no idea how I had been hurting. She has persistently reminded me through gestures and words that she loves me, not just as a man she married 6 years ago, but as the person she has come to know.

We are still in the process of talking through what next steps look like, but she has been incredibly open to change and has wanted to understand how I see myself and the world.

She has always been a huge Harry Potter fan. This woman even asked me if it was still okay for her to like Harry Potter. She was ready to leave it behind for me. (Personally, consuming HP media doesn’t bother me. Conversation for another time, I’m sure some here would disagree with me)

I am so thankful for her. I also want to thank this community for encouraging me to get to this point. You girls rock ❤️

  • oNeviaEnglish
    19•9 months ago

    Congrats girlie! I’m very proud of you and happy to hear you have such a supportive wife!

    I came out to my wife (and myself) on the same day back in October and she has been such a great support for me. Including celebrating my first biHRTday with thoughtful gifts last week.

    If you’re looking for a little advice, my best tip is to stay brutally honest. Both of you need to be honest with each other and make space for each other. Even when it’s tough. There have been many times where my wife was struggling with aspects of the grief of losing me as a husband and it was difficult to hear that and know i was hurting her. Just like she gave me space for my breakdowns over rewriting my life and the guilt and shame I felt for how this affects her, my 19mo son, and everyone else in life.

    Without those spaces to share and explore ALL emotions and feelings this brings up, we wouldn’t have made it as a couple. Now we’re closer than ever and although the grief can still get us, we also see all the new things we are gaining.

    If you have any questions or want to reach out for any other reason, my DMs are open :) I’m sure I’ve come across many of the same bumps in the road as you have/will.

    Take it a day at a time and remind each other you are committed and love each other. There will be many more conversations ahead of you, but you got this babe!

    And again, congrats on finding yourself and sharing it with someone that you love! ❤️❤️