Decades of wearing band t-shirts and not even once that happened to me (even at a concert). Men don’t ask that kind of questions to each other, which means it’s only used to antagonise women.
I’ve had a similar exchange happen twice. The first, I was asked to name songs from the band’s earlier albums (i.e. songs that hadn’t been played at the gig). The other time, it wasn’t asked as a question, but like “I bet you couldn’t even name [arbitrary number] of their songs”.
It definitely happens, and besides those specific instances, I’ve had countless gatekeepy comments that allude to me only [wearing band t-shirt/having video game pins/patches on my bag/being at a gig] to pick up guys because obviously I’m a massively slutty succubus who only haa hobbies to help me find prey.
It’s such a weird accusation anyway because even if it were true, I’m not sure how wearing a gaming pin makes you more attractive but whatever, that would mean that it works in which case they shouldn’t care.
Oof, there is so many leaps of logic that you better stretch before reading.
According those men, women only have romance in their minds. So if they are showing interest in [male dominated subject] is because she wants to stand out by ”not being like the other girls". Even if it were true, surely it should be be the guys’responsibility to not hit on girls that shows them the slightest bit of attention, right? Of course not, guys can’t be held responsible over their own sexual urges! So its the evil woman’s fault for seducing the men by simply existing, and causeing them to fight amongst each other for her attention. She must be excluded for the sake of keeping the fandom healthy!
It’s such a weird accusation anyway because even if it were true, I’m not sure how wearing a gaming pin makes you more attractive but whatever, that would mean that it works in which case they shouldn’t care.
Not to defend those kind of guys, but narcissistic women do exist and do stuff like that to get attention from communities that dont have a lot of women in it. And there are people that do the same so they can make money from cosplay modelling or Only Fans.
These kinds of comments tend to come from guys who say they wish that they could get a girlfriend with the same interests as them. Their poor self worth makes them hyper-fixate on acquiring a romantic or sexual relationship, and it’s easier to blame their lack of success here on there not being any women who share their interests than to recognise they’re being assholes (and that you don’t need perfect overlap in interests with a partner).
So a nerdy pin on my bag, often to them, it does make me more attractive, because there I am, the mythical species they’ve been hunting for, the nerdy, big tiddy goth gf that would solve all their problems. Except people like me are used to assholes like this and have little patience for them, which raises the question: if women who share their hobbies exist, and reject them, what does this say about their previous cope-lie that they told themselves?
But that’s a difficult question to face, so it’s easier to reduce me down to a sexual object and get angry at me for being an infiltrator. I must be, because otherwise why would women within their hobby be so averse to interacting with them?
Oh, I must have hallucinated all those times it happened to me, then! Thank fuck you were here to set me straight, my little woman brain must have just gotten all hysterical for no reason.
I think the implication was this doesn’t happen very often whether it be male or female. If it’s happened to you multiple times, that’s fair, I just don’t see it as an attack on females. I sure as shit don’t give a fuck what band tee anyone wears, a cool tee shirt is a cool tee shirt.
It absolutely is an attack on “fake fan” women and girls. The men who do this want to be able to act superior and smug. They want to prove that a woman couldn’t really like or understand “Specific Niche (or even not really) Thing That Has Mostly Male Fans” cause women don’t have Superior Logic like men do. Thus, any woman who claims to be a fan of Said Specific Niche Thing is lying to make men think she is “cool”, and oh boy, do they love to catch women in a lie.
As a lifelong nerd and musician, I have been challenged in this way more times than I can count, and it absofuckinglutely is because I look femme. They didn’t ask the guy friend right next to me what the entire backstory of Halo is, or whether he could name any character besides Master Chief and Cortana, even though we were both wearing Halo swag. They didn’t question why my husband was at a Coheed and Cambria concert, but felt the need to literally breathe down my neck while asking if I really knew the narrative order of the albums. And so on and so on and so on, from the age of 13 when I went to my first fucking rock concert and my first fucking anime con. Literally over 20 years of this shit now, and they Don’t. Do. It. To. Men. They just fucking don’t.
And in case you can’t tell, it gets really old and really annoying to be told over and over again that this doesn’t happen, that we’re making shit up, that “they’re just trying to be friendly, why can’t you just humor them?” If you got harassed about your hobbies day in and day out for over 20 years, you’d probably get pretty fucking sick of it, too.
I was in no was justifying it or condoning it. I was merely trying to reiterate OPs comment in a more understandable way. As someone who does get ridiculed constantly for my hobbies, yeah I understand, don’t worry. Once again I am only yearning for the days of civil conversation and not everything being offensive or a fight. No part of me ever downplays the severity of sexism against any gender, and I am actively in the fight against it.
But the point is, the implication that “it doesn’t happen very often” is wrong. It happens literally all the time, and trying to act like it doesn’t is downplaying the severity of sexism against women. So you questioned why I responded to the initial post the way I did? It’s because they were implying that this doesn’t happen, so I sarcastically said, ‘oh good, I must have imagined it’ to point out how fucking absurd it is for a man to claim this doesn’t happen to women and femme coded people. And in your other comment you flat out said you didn’t think it was an attack on women, which again is wrong. This is a thing that insecure and angry men perpetuate explicitly as an attack against women in what they see as “their spaces”. Again downplaying the inherent sexism in the act.
My response to you served as your answer for “why I responded that way”: because this shit inundates women every day and we’re constantly told it’s not happening, or at least not at the rate we say it is. And that shit gets fucking old. So how else should I respond to yet another clueless numpty claiming my experiences didn’t happen? Should I coddle him and tell him it’s ok, he’s right and the world is actually roses and daisies and everyone who says otherwise is “larping”? Should I play the patient mommy and lead him along gently hoping he’ll eventually come to the conclusion that he was wrong? Yeah, sorry, after 20+ years most of us don’t have that kind of patience anymore. Ridicule seems to work better anyway because when we’re too kind we just get ignored 🤷🏻♀️
Decades of wearing band t-shirts and not even once that happened to me (even at a concert). Men don’t ask that kind of questions to each other, which means it’s only used to antagonise women.
deleted by creator
It’s the adult version of hitting a girl in the shoulder at the playground and then running away.
The real irony is that if you change the question just a bit, it can be used for flirting:
Honestly, it being a way for this type of man to condescend and control is more likely, IMO.
I don’t mean this as a damning counterpoint but I can think of at least one occasion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqK-i6KSY88
Men don’t ask women that either ops larping
Edit: large amounts of comments stand me corrected. the social circles i move in howrver habe never had this happen
I’ve had a similar exchange happen twice. The first, I was asked to name songs from the band’s earlier albums (i.e. songs that hadn’t been played at the gig). The other time, it wasn’t asked as a question, but like “I bet you couldn’t even name [arbitrary number] of their songs”.
It definitely happens, and besides those specific instances, I’ve had countless gatekeepy comments that allude to me only [wearing band t-shirt/having video game pins/patches on my bag/being at a gig] to pick up guys because obviously I’m a massively slutty succubus who only haa hobbies to help me find prey.
It’s such a weird accusation anyway because even if it were true, I’m not sure how wearing a gaming pin makes you more attractive but whatever, that would mean that it works in which case they shouldn’t care.
Oof, there is so many leaps of logic that you better stretch before reading.
According those men, women only have romance in their minds. So if they are showing interest in [male dominated subject] is because she wants to stand out by ”not being like the other girls". Even if it were true, surely it should be be the guys’responsibility to not hit on girls that shows them the slightest bit of attention, right? Of course not, guys can’t be held responsible over their own sexual urges! So its the evil woman’s fault for seducing the men by simply existing, and causeing them to fight amongst each other for her attention. She must be excluded for the sake of keeping the fandom healthy!
: /
Not to defend those kind of guys, but narcissistic women do exist and do stuff like that to get attention from communities that dont have a lot of women in it. And there are people that do the same so they can make money from cosplay modelling or Only Fans.
In a mind of an incel that’s the ONLY kind of women who go to this type of communities.
These kinds of comments tend to come from guys who say they wish that they could get a girlfriend with the same interests as them. Their poor self worth makes them hyper-fixate on acquiring a romantic or sexual relationship, and it’s easier to blame their lack of success here on there not being any women who share their interests than to recognise they’re being assholes (and that you don’t need perfect overlap in interests with a partner).
So a nerdy pin on my bag, often to them, it does make me more attractive, because there I am, the mythical species they’ve been hunting for, the nerdy, big tiddy goth gf that would solve all their problems. Except people like me are used to assholes like this and have little patience for them, which raises the question: if women who share their hobbies exist, and reject them, what does this say about their previous cope-lie that they told themselves?
But that’s a difficult question to face, so it’s easier to reduce me down to a sexual object and get angry at me for being an infiltrator. I must be, because otherwise why would women within their hobby be so averse to interacting with them?
Are they so incel they don’t want girls to pick them up? I don’t even understand their logic here.
Oh, I must have hallucinated all those times it happened to me, then! Thank fuck you were here to set me straight, my little woman brain must have just gotten all hysterical for no reason.
The comment you replied to didn’t target you in any way, why word it like that?
Wasn’t the implication that if OP was larping, then any woman making that claim was not to be taken seriously?
I think the implication was this doesn’t happen very often whether it be male or female. If it’s happened to you multiple times, that’s fair, I just don’t see it as an attack on females. I sure as shit don’t give a fuck what band tee anyone wears, a cool tee shirt is a cool tee shirt.
It absolutely is an attack on “fake fan” women and girls. The men who do this want to be able to act superior and smug. They want to prove that a woman couldn’t really like or understand “Specific Niche (or even not really) Thing That Has Mostly Male Fans” cause women don’t have Superior Logic like men do. Thus, any woman who claims to be a fan of Said Specific Niche Thing is lying to make men think she is “cool”, and oh boy, do they love to catch women in a lie.
As a lifelong nerd and musician, I have been challenged in this way more times than I can count, and it absofuckinglutely is because I look femme. They didn’t ask the guy friend right next to me what the entire backstory of Halo is, or whether he could name any character besides Master Chief and Cortana, even though we were both wearing Halo swag. They didn’t question why my husband was at a Coheed and Cambria concert, but felt the need to literally breathe down my neck while asking if I really knew the narrative order of the albums. And so on and so on and so on, from the age of 13 when I went to my first fucking rock concert and my first fucking anime con. Literally over 20 years of this shit now, and they Don’t. Do. It. To. Men. They just fucking don’t.
And in case you can’t tell, it gets really old and really annoying to be told over and over again that this doesn’t happen, that we’re making shit up, that “they’re just trying to be friendly, why can’t you just humor them?” If you got harassed about your hobbies day in and day out for over 20 years, you’d probably get pretty fucking sick of it, too.
I was in no was justifying it or condoning it. I was merely trying to reiterate OPs comment in a more understandable way. As someone who does get ridiculed constantly for my hobbies, yeah I understand, don’t worry. Once again I am only yearning for the days of civil conversation and not everything being offensive or a fight. No part of me ever downplays the severity of sexism against any gender, and I am actively in the fight against it.
But the point is, the implication that “it doesn’t happen very often” is wrong. It happens literally all the time, and trying to act like it doesn’t is downplaying the severity of sexism against women. So you questioned why I responded to the initial post the way I did? It’s because they were implying that this doesn’t happen, so I sarcastically said, ‘oh good, I must have imagined it’ to point out how fucking absurd it is for a man to claim this doesn’t happen to women and femme coded people. And in your other comment you flat out said you didn’t think it was an attack on women, which again is wrong. This is a thing that insecure and angry men perpetuate explicitly as an attack against women in what they see as “their spaces”. Again downplaying the inherent sexism in the act.
My response to you served as your answer for “why I responded that way”: because this shit inundates women every day and we’re constantly told it’s not happening, or at least not at the rate we say it is. And that shit gets fucking old. So how else should I respond to yet another clueless numpty claiming my experiences didn’t happen? Should I coddle him and tell him it’s ok, he’s right and the world is actually roses and daisies and everyone who says otherwise is “larping”? Should I play the patient mommy and lead him along gently hoping he’ll eventually come to the conclusion that he was wrong? Yeah, sorry, after 20+ years most of us don’t have that kind of patience anymore. Ridicule seems to work better anyway because when we’re too kind we just get ignored 🤷🏻♀️
How are your tube grubs?
Yes this washoew it was implied im sorry i dient make my statements clearer
F e m a l e s
They said males too so they’re not being sexist.
Sure, bro.
Unfortunately I’ve watched my guy friend do this to his gf and then followed it up by shutting her down when she didn’t answer immediately.