Background+rant: I’m in my early to mid-20s and still living at home with my dad. I’m not a NEET and am employed at a normal office job. I enjoy the comfort of my home. I like being with family (and I believe they feel blessed to have their kid at home longer). I like not having to pay rent. However, I also keep feeling some nagging pressure to “grow up and leave the nest”.

Everything in my mind tells me that moving out is irrational. I would lose 1/3rd of my income to rent, go through a bunch of logistical hoops to find a new place, lose the last few moments I have with my family, just so I can prove to nobody that I’m independent, maybe discover new things, and also probably get in on some of that loneliness action that the rest of my generation is going through.

Yet, the pressure is still there. No one looks down on me for it, but I feel a bit embarrassed to tell people I’m living at home, like I’m admitting failure or incompetency. My friends will occasionally ask when I’m planning on moving out and the question just lingers longer than it should in my head. I compare myself to my parents and grandparents and can’t help but feel like a child compared to the people they were when they were at my age.

Obviously quite conflicted on this, so I’m interested in seeing what others have to say.

  • @shyguyblue
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    4 months ago

    I had to move back in with my parents in my late 20s, when the 2012 recession hit. I told people I was saving up for a down-payment, which is partially true. Other half of that was, it just wasn’t possible for me to get a house and I was tired of apartment living.

    If you’re embarrassed, you can tell people you’re “taking care” of your dad, so he lives with you.

    Don’t bother comparing yourself to the older generations. They’ve spent years pulling up the ladder behind them, so it’s just not the same cheap, prosperous world that it used to be. Single income homes just don’t exist anymore, and most people your age will recognize that.

    Edit: Fixed autocorrect