• @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    87 months ago

    And then dunk on a 7’2" rim, but not even get 2 inches off the ground, yet still manage to stuff himself on the rim and shatter a knee. Then at the next rally, he’ll bend over behind the podium to pick up his basketball and then reemerge as an obviously younger man wearing a pillow under a raggedy suit and wearing both a bald cap and a thinned out wig, then that stunt guy will launch off a springboard, dunking on a 12’ rim like the sick mofo he is.

    When the article finally emerges on who the mystery stunt double was, it’ll be some mostly wholesome, yet slightly triggering interview about this guy coming up from nothing and finally getting the recognition he deserves, albeit for doubling for a monster. Then a follow-up article about how he actually has kidnapped 17 children in 14 years but has never been convicted and a video of him stomping on pigeons. Finally, Fox will say something stupid on a talkshow about black voters loving pigeon-stompers and the MAGA base will call everyone else racist snowflakes while they cry all over their bleached-white, snot-stained hoods.

    • @L3mmyW1nks
      link
      English
      27 months ago

      Do you do personal readings as well? I’m starting to doubt my doubt regarding psychics …

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        English
        27 months ago

        Yes. You will make one person very happy today and you will discover that people appreciate you for who you are.

        That one person will be me and I really like your photography.

        Next week, you’ll discover that you’re actually a clone of yourself, controlled by squirrels in an elaborate plot to purchase some boiled peanuts. It will be shocking, but it will have no effect on your outlook on life.

        • @L3mmyW1nks
          link
          English
          27 months ago

          Thank you!

          I should’ve tried boiled peanuts when driving through Georgia. All those signs next to the road and I never once stopped to buy some. No wonder dem squirls got greedy!