Hear me out. First, I know sex isn’t everything and I know that hooking up and getting laid isn’t going to solve deeper needs and insecurities that I am working on.

That said, I’m also getting out of a long and bad relationship that has left me feeling like I missed so many experiences and opportunities in what ultimately were the final years of my 20s.

I never really properly figured out dating or hooking up. Even though it’s not literally true, I feel like the only person I’ve been with is someone where we skipped straight to “serious long term relationship” which not only contributed to why we didn’t work out, but also kind of stunted my development when it comes to romance and sex.

So now I’m trying to take a step back and just kind of loosen up and have fun in a way I feel I never have before. I do want to develop real connections and long term relationships, but I also want a bit of time away from that first.

Only problem is, I have no clue how and I do feel just a bit old for it. I’m on Tinder and frankly it just feels like nobody is interested.

  • @tallwookieEnglish
    1•1 year ago

    simple:

    • be attractive
    • dont be unattractive
    • having disposable income helps too
    • @[email protected]OPEnglish
      1•1 year ago

      Few things.

      • I kind of think I qualify on all three, certainly the last two
      • even if you do though, presumably you still have to do something
      • last, there are more people who are not 8-10s than there are who are. Presumably they flirt, date, and have sex too right? At some level shouldn’t this just mean there are more people “in your league”?
      • @tallwookieEnglish
        1•1 year ago

        no, being critical is fine.

        actual advice then? find a cougar bar - older women who only visit so they can pick up younger men with the sole purpose of one night stands. cougars are less demanding, arent as picky, and really only want one thing - coincidentally, the same thing you want.

        good luck!

        • @MigratingtoLemmyEnglish
          1•1 year ago

          I have found “cougars” to be very selective in my experience; they had high standards. YMMV

          • @tallwookieEnglish
            1•1 year ago

            i wonder if we’re experiencing cougars at different strata of the economy

            • @MigratingtoLemmyEnglish
              1•1 year ago

              Do you usually go for affluent cougars? I didn’t really notice (none of the women I approached were wearing anything too flashy or had exceptional glamour/style), I’m assuming I tried with “average” women. What about you?