So I’ve realized that in conversations I’ll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I’ve been thinking that it’s not as inclusive to women/trans people.
For example I would say:
“What’s up guys?” “How’s it going man?” "Good job, my dude!” etc.
Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y’all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.
So what are some better options?
Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.
The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.
I’m not invalidating your experiences, and you do you. I wouldn’t put it past shitty people to use it passive-aggressively as a way to misgender someone, and if you’ve experienced that, I am truly sorry you’ve had to deal with such shitheads.
At the same time, I know plenty of trans and cis women that don’t see it as rude or invalidating of their gender identity, and even use it themselves to refer to groups of people with mixed genders.
It’s a matter of boundaries and knowing one’s company. Some people are cool with it, and some people aren’t. It would be nice if everyone was using ungendered terms by default, but that’s going to take a while, unfortunately.