Why does it have to always hit me so randomly? Some nights I beg my brain to stay awake past 9 and then there’s nights like this where I’m wide awake for no reason

  • @iarigby
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    288 months ago

    My rules to have a higher chance of falling asleep at 11-12

    • always wake up early, even after I went to bed late, otherwise I won’t be able to fall asleep on time
    • no active brain work (studying, working) after 8pm
    • no food after 7-8pm
    • no ceiling lights after 8-9 pm, only yellow dim lamps
    • no staying in bed if I couldn’t fall asleep. get up, go to another room, try again in 15-20 minutes
    • @[email protected]
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      198 months ago

      To add:

      • No visible clocks. If possible don’t check the time at all while trying to sleep. Doing math at night (aka “oh no only 4 hours left”) only makes you angry or sad.
      • No alcohol. If unavoidable, try to be sober by the time you want to fall asleep. (Dring sooner, if at all.)
      • No coffee after midday. Some bodies suck at metabolising it.
      • Bedroom should be as dark and silent and comfy as possible. If there’s any way you can add comfort, do it.
      • For persisting sleep problems: Change position or location. (E.g. turn completely around in your bed, feet at the headrest, or sleep on the couch if comfortable.) Brains are very good at linking a location with a state of mind, and changing things around can help if the thought of your bed stresses you out already.

      For severe problems it’s probably always wise to check with a physician, or if there’s specific stuff in your head that keeps you awake to consider telling a friend or therapist about it. To distance yourself from your thoughts is something everybody can learn and it can be tremendously helpful with stuff like that.

      • @[email protected]
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        8 months ago

        I would also like to add:

        • Cut down on blue light exposure (monitors, TV, mobile devices) as well as bright lights (ovehead white / fluorescent lights) after sunset. For digital devices, use a blue-light filter/night mode at the highest setting (takes a while to get used to it but your eyes will thank you for it). For overhead lighting, stop using white/fluorescent lights after sunset - preferably switch to LED lights which can change to a warmer color temperature and be dimmed, or switch to using desk lamps / night lamps instead of using your regular overhead lights. Smart lights have the added benefit of setting up a sleep routine, where you can simulate a sunrise, so you wake up naturally instead of relying on a harsh alarm.

        • Speaking of alarms, avoid a them as far as possible. Use them only as a last resort, and don’t depend on them as a regular habit. Alarms don’t respect your circadian cycles and may just jolt you awake when you’re still in your deep/REM cycles, which leaves you feeling grumpy / cranky / tired. You should always aim to wake up naturally (body clock), or be aided by natural light (or a sunrise simulation) - which advances your melatonin phase, and starts production of cortisol.

        • Make sure you’re getting enough magnesium. Usually eating a banana a day + a balanced diet does the trick. If you miss your daily banana by any chance, take a magnesium supplement. Or get a blood test done and consult a dietician if necessary to check your body is actually absorbing that magnesium.

        • Also consider taking melatonin supplements. Again, check with your doctor first.

        • Make sure you get enough exercise - at least 30 minutes a day, and don’t exercise too late in the day.

        • Don’t eat a heavy dinner, and don’t eat too close to bedtime. Eating too early can also be bad if it makes you hungry before bedtime. Also, make sure you get some carbs in your dinner, because carbs make you sleepy. Maybe even add a bonus banana for extra magnesium.

        • Maintain a consistent sleeping/workout/mealtime routine - even during weekends and holidays. Most people are tempted to sleep late on Fridays or weekends, but that just wreaks your cycle, and then you end up with Monday-itis - and it takes a full week for your body to recover the lost sleep, and just when your body is back to normal, you wreak your cycle again on the weekend - don’t do that.

        • Personally, I would recommend avoiding caffeine completely, if you’re having trouble sleeping - at least until your circadian cycle is back to normal, and you’ve been getting consistently good sleep.

        • Speaking of good sleep, I’d highly recommend getting a fitness tracker /smart watch to track your sleep quality and score. Generally you’d want to aim for a sleep score of over 80 (deep sleep 20-25% and REM sleep 20-25% of your total sleep cycle). Keeping a track of your sleep cycles / score is handy in understanding how your daily activities impact your sleep. Also tracking your sleep hours helps you keep track of your sleep deficit and let’s you plan your activities accordingly.

        • Missed sleep isn’t easy to make up for. You accumulate sleep deficit over time and this takes a toll on your health. Most people think that getting a good 8hrs of sleep the next day would be enough to make up for one night of bad/missed sleep, but it’s not that simple - you not only need to make up your missed hours, you also need to get consistently good sleep for at least a week - sometimes even a couple of weeks, to make up for your deficit. See: https://www.sleepfoundation.org/how-sleep-works/sleep-debt-and-catch-up-sleep

        • Consider taking up meditation. Studies have shown that mindful meditation can significantly improve sleep quality.

        • Other things/activities that calm your mind also help, such as taking chamomile tea and decaffinated green tea (or an L-theanine supplement), or listening to relaxing music. But be sure to set a timer on your music listening though, you want to make sure your auditory system gets a rest overnight. So don’t be tempted to leave on the TV overnight or use a white-noise generator - white noise may do more harm than good!

        cc: @[email protected] @[email protected]

          • @[email protected]
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            8 months ago

            I disagree. If you go to sleep early and at a regular time and maintain a regular routine, then you’ll wake up at the same every day. Also, I didn’t say to avoid alarms completely I said use them as a last resort, in case you don’t naturally wake up in time.

            As an example, I work 9-5 and wake up naturally anytime between 6:30 - 7:30 AM. My last resort alarm is set to 8:15AM, but I almost never enable it because I wake up well before that time. I only enable it incase my routine messed up for that day and I ended up sleeping late for whatever reason.

            • @[email protected]
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              18 months ago

              Okay, but what about people who have jobs where you really cannot tolerate a 1 hour wake up window? I hope you can realize you are in a privileged position to be able to have this kind of schedule and that this is really not possible for the vast majority of people.

              • @[email protected]
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                8 months ago

                As I said before, just sleep early if you want to wake up early. If you’re unable to wake up early naturally, that means you’re either sleep deprived and/or having poor quality sleep, or there are other factors affecting your sleep, as highlighted in my original comment and the parent comment.

      • @iarigby
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        48 months ago

        yes, all of that are very important as well. Sometimes I think about how exhausting it is to follow all these, and try my best to forget about the fear of not falling asleep when going to bed. I’ve noticed that overcoming that psychological “surrender” had a big impact on nights where I experience some problems - it’s important to keep calm and not spiral. But damn, it’s hard living like this.

    • @iarigby
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      48 months ago

      one more thing: I have to limit the amount of stress inducing activities throughout a day/days so my brain is not in alert mode for too long. I have social anxiety so this mostly means spending enough time at home, not going to more than 2 different places during one day, etc.