How do you sanitise the area to prevent infection? If you get surgery on the rusty sheriff’s badge, how does it not get infected the next time you lay an otter egg? Do they connect a colostomy bag in that case, to give it time to heal?

You can get a lethal infection from a paper cut if the right (see: wrong) bacteria get into it. Short of piledriving a snooker cue coated with hand sanitiser, I don’t know how a filthy corridor of doom like the excretory system can be kept free of bacteria after Dr. Bussy Torn MD has been rooting around in there with his weed whacker.

Surely antibiotics aren’t enough on their own to prevent infection? Anywhere else in the body, sure, but the chucklet waterpark is like ground zero for biological malevolence. It would be like wearing nothing but a steel showercap to keep mosquitos from biting you.

What dark arts are surgeons invoking here?

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    68 months ago

    Luckily not, the tumor was sent to the lab and turned out not to be metastatized. So they probably got it all. They do however want me to come back somewhere within the next year to check if there is any more. This scares me a bit, both my grandfather and uncle died from colon cancer. And I’m about that age where that kind of thing happens. But we’ll see when they put a camera back in my ass I guess.