Update: Thanks to a few of y’all who got me to look at things differently I think there was a miscommunication. I called my mom, and sorta cleared things up, they said they thought that my message out to them was saying I was planning on celebrating trans day of visibility, and not just mentioning it off hand after accepting the invite. I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t say I am not fully convinced but I love them enough to forgive. Things have been rocky with them, my dad is teetering on the edge of ultra-conservative and still misgenders and dead-names me. In my mind there was a very real possibility my dad told my mom to dis-invite us after knowing it was a trans day.
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Kinda posting to just vent, family instantly cancelled when I just mentioned it was a trans awareness day.
Crazy thing is they know me, they know we’re not religious, they know that all we’d like to do is just see family (most importantly the two doggos.) And now I’m not going to be getting to do that and I just feel pretty hurt after this. I’ve sent some messages back and forth and they’ve re-invited us, but without a clear explanation or sincere apology, my partner doesn’t feel comfortable around them now. I agree with her, so we won’t be going.
This is the first overtly discriminatory thing I have experienced from them, and it is just so strange this is what hill they decided to claim.
I hate being a social war politic pawn, any other situation, birthday falling on the same day, solar event, or an “acceptable” awareness day, would have been met with open arms. They’ve just treated us as degenerates.
I wasn’t expecting or wanting anything, other than perhaps a minor acknowledgement, just getting cancelled on is bizarre and I can only see it as hateful or at least extremely overly defensive over my perceived motives?
Well idk after this I feel like on march 31st it would have been really fun if I spent the day misgendering them so they could experience a taste of some of the experiences I have. But I’m still just hurt, I would have loved to get a hug from my mom and sis and pet the dogs.
Hopefully this follows the rule and venting is ok, this is my first post here and I would have rather it be something more lighthearted but I just want support and validation after this.
It was absolutely a normal thing to mention trans visibility day and you deserve to be seen by family too! I don’t think the person you’re replying to has much experience in being trans and navigating family so don’t take their response too seriously.
What do you mean, do not take it serious? If you just want to spend time with someone, do not bring up topics they do not like for no reason. Simple concept, regardless of the topic.
Yeah that’s an extreme oversimplification. For some trans people it’s not an option to ‘not bring up their transness’ because it’s about their identity and spending any time with someone who refuse to recognise that can be very a very dysphoric experience. Also in this case it’s about op’s parents. Is it really that hard to understand that op might want their own parents to recognise their identity?
Giving someone advice on a topic you are ignorant about can be harmful, so maybe don’t do that.
So you know about my experiences…? The hypocrisy.