• @[email protected]
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    916 months ago

    I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.

    • @SpiceDealer
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      96 months ago

      This is some of the funniest shit I’ve read in a long time. Thank you!

    • @[email protected]
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      76 months ago

      As I child, I read it as he was just the most undesirable child in that universe. He was like a human child, just like ,shitty. And they chose him. That’s cool.

    • Mossy Feathers (They/Them)
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      56 months ago

      Bro. How hard is it to just step on the little fucker? How have you let him take over your life like this? Just stomp on him and pretend it was an accident.