Who cares if they eat me? I’m dead and the horror show is over.

  • IninewCrow
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    278 months ago

    I plan on having a cremation, no religious ceremony, and then about $5,000 towards one big buffet with lots of food and non alcoholic drinks. If people want to say or do stuff, let em. Otherwise they can all have a fun get together and some food on me.

    I had an elderly old friend of mine years ago put it to me this way …

    I really don’t care what you guys do, you know why? I won’t be there.

    • cobysev
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      118 months ago

      My father just passed in January. He was adamant that we not have a funeral for him. He said there was no point in wasting all that money to shove his body in a hole and leave it there. Instead, he signed up to donate his body to science. As soon as he passed, I called a phone number on a card in his wallet and they came and claimed his body. That was it. Whenever they finish whatever research they’re doing, they’ll cremate his remains and return them.

      He said, if we really wanted, we could hold a “celebration of life” for him. Just a small barbeque with friend and family to remember him by. He just asked that his favorite beer was left sitting at an empty chair for him.

        • @repungnant_canary
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          88 months ago

          I actually wouldn’t suggest this episode to someone whose father’s body is currently donated. But good episode nonetheless

          • @Dasus
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            68 months ago

            Yeah, I understand, and did consider that. But… it’s better to be aware, surely, so there’s something to be done.

            I seriously considered not posting it, but… decided to anyway.

      • @[email protected]
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        38 months ago

        I find myself wondering about the lives of the corpse-collectors you called. It’s clearly too menial a task for researchers, but someone’s gotta do it…

        • @[email protected]
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          58 months ago

          Back in the bad old days, doctors and med students would outright go rob a grave in the dead of night to get materials. I think it’s better for everyone this way that “corpse collector” is a paid profession.

    • @[email protected]
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      68 months ago

      Concern for one’s legacy is entirely understandable.

      But the weirdest point to get sentimental about rotting meat for the first time is after you’re dead.

      • IninewCrow
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        68 months ago

        It’s a Christian thing where people want their bodies preserved as long as possible in the belief that when the biblical end times arrive, you want a full body to rise from the dead. I’ve heard many relatives say to me that if you get cremated, there’s nothing left to rise when the Lord comes and takes everyone.

        I’m Indigenous Canadian and the historic burials we had hundreds of years ago before colonization by Europeans and their Christian traditions was a lot different. I’m Cree / Ojibway in northern Ontario where there is mostly swamp, or rock and very little in between. Historically when we buried our dead, we built a simple scaffold of trees about ten feet high, then place the body on top, then mark the location with the tallest straight pole we could make. The body and marker would last maybe five to ten years before it would all disappear because of animals, insects, extreme cold, damp, and even forest fire. It takes longer to decompose if the body is left in or near swamp or wet areas. In deep swamp, the conditions are such that a body and bones could last for decades (look at the historic discoveries like Tollund Man )

        When I went out to visit many of the places where my ancestors were from, my family knew where they all lived and travelled … but there were no markers, identifications, headstones or anything anywhere.

        The land was just as pristine and beautiful as when they first used it while they were alive.

        That’s exactly what I want to do with my legacy.

    • BlanketsWithSmallpox
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      48 months ago

      … $5,000 of food seems like a lot of food to me without counting alcohol.