https://alternativeto.net/software/windows-xp/?platform=linux

I assume there’s a decent chance that there are some Linux users that would feel similarly since there are 25 distros that are similar to XP

Edit: re: your username, if you haven’t read Robert Aspirin’s Myth series, starting with Another fine Myth, you really should do yourself a favor and read them. They’re spoof fantasy. Funny and magical.