I try to be sweet and kind, but I think I’m just intimidating. I’m too much long term. Even if people really like me, they don’t become very attached. I don’t want to be clingy like in the past, so while I’ll hold people close, I don’t hold on anymore when people drift away.
It’s a bit dark, but I’ve just accepted that people are temporary in my life. I’ve seen so many people come and go that I just appreciate them while I have them. I don’t feel distant from others, but I do feel better about myself when they do leave. I’m a likable person, but I’m not someone people will put in extra effort to keep around. Who knows, maybe most people are like me.
I’m so sorry for your experiences and the feelings and beliefs you’ve developed as a result. I don’t know your situation, but I do believe that things can get better.
You are seen and heard and your feelings are valid.
I really don’t think about it and it doesn’t normally bother me, but I’m in a shitty mood so I guess I just felt like getting it off my chest. I do know it’ll get better, but right now, things just suck.
My gender dysphoria makes me generally unhappy without the source being clear. It’s why my identity was so difficult to discover. I don’t automatically know that it’s what I’m really upset about. Whenever I get unhappy, I have to consciously ask myself if I might actually be upset about gender.