I try to be sweet and kind, but I think I’m just intimidating. I’m too much long term. Even if people really like me, they don’t become very attached. I don’t want to be clingy like in the past, so while I’ll hold people close, I don’t hold on anymore when people drift away.
It’s a bit dark, but I’ve just accepted that people are temporary in my life. I’ve seen so many people come and go that I just appreciate them while I have them. I don’t feel distant from others, but I do feel better about myself when they do leave. I’m a likable person, but I’m not someone people will put in extra effort to keep around. Who knows, maybe most people are like me.
From my experiemce darkness isn’t transphobic, it’s the people that are.
This post is less about transphobia and more about neurodivergence. These problems have existed long before I came out. Transitioning might even help me, but it’s too early to know for sure.