• @[email protected]
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    197 months ago

    Needs a punchline. That last panel is completely pointless and wastes a good setup imo.

    • LEX
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      7 months ago

      The punchline is that the protagonist, in this desperate, confusing moment of panic, finds themselves in the company of a useless buffoon who, although in the same terrifying position, is only capable of “helping” by cheerfully explaining the obvious. An experience we can all relate to on some level, especially if the comic as a whole is read as a metaphor.

      I think it’s pretty well done.

      • @[email protected]
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        27 months ago

        I agree, the only thing I would add is swap the two. That way the buffoon is technically in a worse position.

      • @[email protected]
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        17 months ago

        I think that’s a very generous read, and I just don’t see it. The first three panels are well done, but the last adds nothing. It’s like someone ending a Little Johnny joke with “and then the teacher sent him to the principal’s office” instead of with whatever dirty thing Johnny said that was supposed to be the actual punchline.

        • LEX
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          47 months ago

          Well, I guess your read of it suggests the cartoonists didn’t really write this comic and just sort of made it up as they went, I suppose? Or got lazy?

          I would argue the artist wrote several punchlines before eventually settling on this one, and for good reason. It’s subtle and, frankly, funny. It relies on character humor rather than a blunt pun or ham fisted political zinger while still making a point. It’s really well crafted, imo.

          But I’m just some dumbass on the internet and this cartoonists could be huffing glue, I suppose, so who knows?

          • @[email protected]
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            17 months ago

            Lol, I never suggested anything about the author’s writing process and I certainly never even implied that I thought you were a dumbass, which I don’t. But now I’m not convinced you’re not the actual cartoonist, since you seem to have intimate knowledge of their creation process and their recreational habits. It’s not a “character study”—you would need characters for that—it’s a setup with no punchline, it’s half a joke. Actually, it’s worse, it’s a joke with a decent punchline, followed by a whole extra panel that just restates what the reader already learned in the previous panel with the actual punchline, making me feel like the author thinks I’m a dumbass.

            • LEX
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              7 months ago

              I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply you were calling me a dumbass, I was calling myself that, I apologize.

              I can assure you I am not the cartoonist. It seems like I am intimately familiar with the process because I am. You can look at my post history to see a few examples of comics actually created on the fly with no thought, writing, or pencils done ahead of time, just stream of consciousness and pens in a sketchbook. I can tell you, a lot of thought was put into the comic we are discussing because I’ve been through that grinder plenty of times myself.

              You’re correct about that third panel housing what most people would consider the actual punchline, which is why the fourth is so interesting. I’m not familiar with this cartoonist, so it could be that they are just so stuck in a four panel writing pattern that they felt the need to fill that panel with something, anything, so they just slapped something in there, but it really reads to me as much more thought out and deliberate. I suppose I could, like, go look at more of their work, but, eeeeeeehhhhhhh…

              I also disagree that it’s not a character study. When working with three or four panels, cartoonists have to set characters up quickly and efficiently and this comic does that extremely well. That red guy is consistent throughout every panel, as is the protagonist ,we know exactly who he is. To the point where in panel three, the speech balloon is not attributed to anybody, yet we know exactly who is speaking, which is harder to pull off than you might think.

              Anyways, you got me blabbing and blabbing. I could talk this kind of shit all day, I take it pretty seriously, in case you hadn’t noticed.

              Again, you could totally be right. Without looking at more of their work, it’s possible this artist is a hack fraud and I am talking up a total sloppy amateur. But just judging from this single piece of work, I suspect they’re probably pretty good.

              • @[email protected]
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                -17 months ago

                Sorry I didn’t read and respond to that wall of text, lol. All I’ll say is, If you need 6 paragraphs to explain why it’s a good joke, it’s not a good joke.

                • LEX
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                  17 months ago

                  Okay. How strange. I thought we were having a conversation but I guess you’re just some dipshit.

                  Oh well. Good luck, dipshit.

    • @Chestnut
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      237 months ago

      I think it’s fine as it is. It’s trading funny for poignanncy

      • @[email protected]
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        -17 months ago

        Except the last panel isn’t poignant either. Like I said, it’s useless. It would be just as poignant without it, and if they had actually written a punchline, it could have been funny too.

        • @Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In
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          17 months ago

          You have a point, the last panel adds nothing. But for most readers it doesn’t make it worse.

          • @[email protected]
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            17 months ago

            But it doesn’t make it better for anyone, and it does make it worse for the rest of us, so…