I really don’t want to go into work tomorrow.

  • key
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    2310 months ago

    Your belly distends and you feel a horrible pain. Congratulations, it’s a boy! Enjoy your two whole weeks of maternity leave. And don’t worry about giving insufficient notice, your employer will just deduct it from your vacation time.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      10 months ago

      Oh god that’s horrific. I love it. Immediate horror and oh god what have I done? Microwave regret available in 30 seconds or less.

  • Dharma Curious
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    2110 months ago

    Granted, but you’re now a cop that’s killed an unarmed black toddler

    • @OldManBOMBIN
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      1010 months ago

      Dammit, Johnson! I told you to sprinkle some crack on it!

  • @kryptonianCodeMonkey
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    1510 months ago

    Granted, it’s bereavement leave. 10 full work days. And your company only offers 2 days paid leave for each death and only for immediate family members. My condolences on your losses.

  • @neatchee
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    710 months ago

    Granted, enjoy your two weeks in Gaza

  • Blackout
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    510 months ago

    Granted you broke your dick in half falling in the shower and have to use your vacation time to recover.

  • @[email protected]
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    310 months ago

    Granted, it’s called gardening leave, and in 2 weeks you will be unemployed. Enjoy searching for jobs on your vacation

  • @ExtraMedicated
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    310 months ago

    Granted, but the pay is minimum wage and stays that way when you come back.

  • Remy Rose
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    10 months ago

    Granted. You get your paid two weeks, no strings attached. Your new job as a transmission tower climber has surprisingly decent benefits.

  • Mister Neon
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    210 months ago

    Granted, it’s a staycation since you’ve contracted COVID.

  • xigoi
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    210 months ago

    Granted. It’s a paid vacation, meaning you have to pay for it.