I really don’t want to go into work tomorrow.

  • key
    link
    fedilink
    English
    239 months ago

    Your belly distends and you feel a horrible pain. Congratulations, it’s a boy! Enjoy your two whole weeks of maternity leave. And don’t worry about giving insufficient notice, your employer will just deduct it from your vacation time.

    • @[email protected]OP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      11
      edit-2
      9 months ago

      Oh god that’s horrific. I love it. Immediate horror and oh god what have I done? Microwave regret available in 30 seconds or less.

  • Dharma Curious
    link
    fedilink
    English
    219 months ago

    Granted, but you’re now a cop that’s killed an unarmed black toddler

    • @OldManBOMBIN
      link
      English
      109 months ago

      Dammit, Johnson! I told you to sprinkle some crack on it!

  • @kryptonianCodeMonkey
    link
    English
    159 months ago

    Granted, it’s bereavement leave. 10 full work days. And your company only offers 2 days paid leave for each death and only for immediate family members. My condolences on your losses.

  • @neatchee
    link
    English
    79 months ago

    Granted, enjoy your two weeks in Gaza

  • Blackout
    link
    fedilink
    59 months ago

    Granted you broke your dick in half falling in the shower and have to use your vacation time to recover.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    39 months ago

    Granted, it’s called gardening leave, and in 2 weeks you will be unemployed. Enjoy searching for jobs on your vacation

  • @ExtraMedicated
    link
    English
    39 months ago

    Granted, but the pay is minimum wage and stays that way when you come back.

  • Remy Rose
    link
    fedilink
    English
    2
    edit-2
    9 months ago

    Granted. You get your paid two weeks, no strings attached. Your new job as a transmission tower climber has surprisingly decent benefits.

  • Mister Neon
    link
    English
    29 months ago

    Granted, it’s a staycation since you’ve contracted COVID.

  • xigoi
    link
    fedilink
    English
    29 months ago

    Granted. It’s a paid vacation, meaning you have to pay for it.