• nieceandtows@programming.dev
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        1 year ago

        Never thought that line was particularly impressive. A pencil is roughly a sharpened stick, so all you had to do is jab it through the eye into the brain. Would have been more impressive if he had used something more improbable, like a piece of paper.

        • Scubus@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          Nah, it’s actually surprisingly difficult to jab a pencil into someone’s eye and kill them. Don’t feel like getting out on any more lists so I won’t offer a source, but I will give you a good starting point to do more investigating by saying that there was a railroad worker who was blasting a tunnel out with dynamite and managed to get a railroad spike through his skull. It altered his personality but he did live and make a “full” recovery

  • ug02x@programming.dev
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    1 year ago

    (Please read in wacky buddy comedy voice from movie commercials)

    John Wick and John Constantine. The supernatural Reeves dual role buddy shoot-em-up we never knew we wanted (and probably still don’t). As they traverse hell and heaven seeking vengeance for and with luck reuniting Wick and his dog. They may just find friendship, celestial blood, and their lost love along the way.

    The John Chronicles: All Dogs Go To Heaven

  • Spendrill@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Phone rings

    Longinus: Longinus speaking
    Pause God: I hear you crucified my son.
    Longinus: Yes, Sir, I did.
    God: And may I ask why?
    Longinus: clears throat Well… he stole John Wick’s car… and he killed his dog.
    God: Oh.

    • sulgoth
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      1 year ago

      I want a crossover where these two have to work together to murder a Pantheon, but we don’t deserve it.

      • cmbabul
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        1 year ago

        Thank you and fuck you at the same time for putting that desire in my head

    • EvolvedTurtle
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      1 year ago

      Came here for this lmao

      If he can go to hell he could probably go to heaven too

  • aeronmelon
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    1 year ago

    So you see, kids, there is no god. Not anymore. Keanu Reeves killed him.

  • BmeBenji@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    This is legitimately the plot of DOOM and DOOM 2, just replace the dog with a bunny and God with all of Hell’s inhabitants.