Fictional options for animated biopics, why not
My cat. Everyone would be played by cats. Untrained cats, just put them together in relevant places and roll camera. It’s art now.
I was thinking specific cats (a la Unsinkable Sam or Stationmaster Tama), but these newcomers need breakout roles too!
Nicolas Cage.
Doesn’t matter that he isn’t even close to being a match, but the movie would most certainly be entertaining.
Ryan Gosling, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Timothee Chalamet. Not as one person blended together, but them having a threesome. Directed by Denis Villeneuve. Score by Vangelis.
That’s me.
I can imagine you so well
Me of course. I mean I already got famous for being me so clearly I would be a good fit for the role.
Jack Black is the only real choice. In his messy beard phase.
I had a hard time thinking of someone even remotely matching my elaborate style and high class. This is exactly it. Jack Black, messy beard, clothing that looks like he dressed in a small, completely dark closet.
I’m a forgettable nobody, so, Michael Cera.
Bojack.
Horseman, obviously.
get in line
Macaulay Culkin
I’m so sorry
It’s mostly because we look a bit alike but I still agree with the sentiment.
I’m thinking the actress for MJ in Spiderman (forgot her name) is the closest match, but it would still be a very rough one. For starters, I’m wondering how well she’d do in leg guards or if she could do a Kiwi accent.
I’m thinking the actress for MJ in Spiderman
do you mean Kirsten Dunst?
MJ is Michelle Jones-Watson played by Zendaya in the latest Spiderman films. Kirsten Dunst played Mary-Jane Watson in the Spiderman films from two decades ago, the ones with the first trailer at the World Trade Center’s Twin Towers.
They said “Spiderman” not “Spiderman: Homecoming” nor “Spiderman: Far From Home” nor “Spiderman: No Way Home”.
And in the original Spiderman, Mary-Jane was often called MJ by Spiderman.
Pedantic enough for you?
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
No similarity, but it’d be funny watching the director try to fit The Rock into a computer programming role; and also because - since it’s a movie - people would think that’s how I look.
Question: on what occasion in your life did you hold a helicopter with bare hands? And why?
It’s my biography, not Dwayne’s! The heaviest thing he’ll hold in the biography will be the absurdly large Calvin & Hobbes Compendium.
Seth Rogan but he’s a craft beer snob instead of a pot head.
Probably Keanu Reaves. We went to the same schools growing up and have similar ethnicity. I don’t actually remember him, though I must’ve passed him in the hall? He’s a few years my senior.
Dunno probably that guy in the Vicar of Dibley that went “Mo no no no yes”
Bad news about that, I’m afraid
Matt Damon.
Similar size, shape, looks and both from the Boston area.
I describe myself as looking like what happens when you skip character creation. I’m super average-looking and would be tough to pick from a crowd.
