- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion
- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion
A Texas man has legally changed his name to Literally Anybody Else and announced he is running for US president in the 2024 election.
Formerly known as Dustin Ebey, the 35-year-old is a US army veteran and seventh-grade math teacher in the suburbs of Dallas, and now has a Texas driver’s license to prove his name change.
He said he wanted to change his name because he was unsatisfied with this year’s presidential candidates, Joe Biden and Donald Trump.
“Three hundred million people can do better,” he said in reference to the two frontrunners for the nation’s highest office. “There really should be some outlet for people like me who are just so fed up with this constant power grab between the two parties that just has no benefit to the common person.
Every boss I’ve ever had has told me this dude can do my job better than me, so I got faith in him.
I feel like this is gonna have some unintended consequences for him.
If he tries to sign up for anything online, he’ll likely be flagged as a bot because of his name.
Nevermind it’s not literally anyone else, because sure as fuck not rfk jr, or so many other of those nasty people who ran in 2016 and 2020 primaries
Hope he wins.
deleted by creator
This is the best summary I could come up with:
A Texas man has legally changed his name to Literally Anybody Else and announced he is running for US president in the 2024 election.
Formerly known as Dustin Ebey, the 35-year-old is a US army veteran and seventh-grade math teacher in the suburbs of Dallas, and now has a Texas driver’s license to prove his name change.
He said he wanted to change his name because he was unsatisfied with this year’s presidential candidates, Joe Biden and Donald Trump.
“Three hundred million people can do better,” he said in reference to the two frontrunners for the nation’s highest office.
“There really should be some outlet for people like me who are just so fed up with this constant power grab between the two parties that just has no benefit to the common person.
“It’s not necessarily about me as a person, but it’s about literally anybody else as an idea,” he told news outlet WFAA88.
The original article contains 272 words, the summary contains 155 words. Saved 43%. I’m a bot and I’m open source!
What a waste. The guy could create a platform for a cause that he is deeply passionate about but chooses to be a gag bit.
Even if his cause was something I disagree with, like anti abortion, it would be more meaningful than this joke.
So any way kids, did you know that grampa was literally anybody else when he was in his mid 40s? It’s true! Tell them grampa! Tell them!
That’s right kids, I came third in the race too.