It’s very sad, but with the holiday weekend I’ve been able to keep it in the back of my mind instead of the front. Now that Mom is sharing info on services, i can’t imagine actually going there and seeing and what to say… and it’s getting to me, a lot. Today is a celebration day in my house and i don’t want to bring my family down, so i just need a place to rest this until i can get back to it tomorrow and begin processing. Sorry for public journaling.

  • @bl4ckblooc
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    248 months ago

    Hey, I get it. I just came back home last week to watch my younger brother die in the ICU. Grief is hard, and everyone deals with it differently. If screaming into the void helps, then do that. If you want, send me the next rant that build up.

    • @TodayOP
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      38 months ago

      Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry. You’re totally right - grief is so hard and so personal. Thank you.

      • @bl4ckblooc
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        38 months ago

        Thank you. It is very personal, so remember not to compare you grief to someone else’s. Everyone has the right to grieve.

  • RedFox
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    218 months ago

    Not likely to be helpful, but your feeling is normal and understandable. Didn’t wait too long to talk to someone.

    • @TodayOP
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      28 months ago

      Thank you. Luckily he has a great team of teachers and therapists who will support each other. Several of us are going to the service together.

  • @jeffw
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    158 months ago

    God, that’s tough. Both of my parents were teacher for decades and I don’t think either ever had to deal with someone dying. Hope you’re holding up okay.

    • @TodayOP
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      38 months ago

      Thank you. Many of the kiddos i work with are pretty fragile. I was awake last night, counting and i think this is the 9th loss in my 16 years. It’s always hard, but this one was very unexpected.

  • Pandantic [they/them]
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    128 months ago

    Im really sorry that happened. I’m a teacher, and this has happened to me about 5 years ago around this same time. If you wanna talk, pm me.

    • @TodayOP
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      28 months ago

      Thank you. It was so unexpected - he was at school, out sick one day, then the phone call. I feel for his teacher who had to tell his classmates and my heart hurts for his mom.

      • Pandantic [they/them]
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        18 months ago

        No problem. I want to say, if you interact with his classmates, don’t be afraid to show them you are hurt too. It’s good for children to see that is okay to show you are sad, but then we can manage it and keep going.

        • @TodayOP
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          18 months ago

          That’s a really good point. Thanks.

  • Call me Lenny/LeniM
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    88 months ago

    I know this week how that feels. I’ve mentioned I’ve lost my mom last week and it has snuck into the front of my mind a few times. Don’t think we’re not here for you.

    • @TodayOP
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      18 months ago

      I’m so sorry. I lost my mom last year and it’s the hardest thing I’ve experienced. Even when you know it’s coming, and when you’ve prayed for them to be at rest, it’s still a gut punch. Give yourself some grace. Thank you for your kind words.

  • @[email protected]
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    38 months ago

    I am a big fan of the quote about greif. This whole post is worth a read.

    Stand at the brink of the abyss of despair, and when you see that you cannot bear it anymore, draw back a little and have a cup of tea.

    • @TodayOP
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      28 months ago

      That was very very good. Thank you for sharing it. Reminded me of a a kiddo we had several years ago - Mom said he was a little stinker at 18 months, constantly climbing on things and pestering his sister. He found a Tylenol on the floor and put in his mouth -it got stuck. The hospital was able to revive him. We got him at school at the age of 3 - no voluntary movement at all; but always clean, smelled good, and perfectly dressed. I can’t fathom the extremes of emotion the family must have felt that day - the pain of losing him, the relief that he survived, then the constant care.