• @Rolando
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    737 months ago

    Plot twist: the professor is on the verge of creating a superefficient new pesticide. If the student makes it to class they will ask a question that will inspire the professor to break through the final problem and create the pesticide, leading to the deaths of billions of insects. One insect has been sent from the future to prevent this from happening. It is… the Termitenator.

    • @[email protected]
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      117 months ago

      plot twist: killing the insects would result in ecosystem collapse and the Termitenator was actually sent by starving humans in a post collapse world as a last ditch effort to stop it from happening.

      • @Rolando
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        87 months ago

        A Terminator T-1000 bursts through the door. It steps on the Termitenator, killing it.

        “Kid,” says the T-1000 in the voice of their father. “Get to class.”

        Without further elaboration, it leaves.

  • flicker
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    437 months ago

    I would honestly find a way to send them help.

    “Economics 101 has been suspended. We are now Strike Force 101. We have one mission; save (student.)”

    • @[email protected]
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      147 months ago

      “We have found the student. Unfortunately, the bug appears to have made them consume entirely too much alcohol the night previous.”

      • flicker
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        67 months ago

        As long as the bug has been disposed of, I say, mission accomplished! Class dismissed!

        …I would be a teacher for like a month max.

        • kase
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          37 months ago

          But it would be a good month :)

  • @[email protected]
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    397 months ago

    12:48 pm, now it’s 15:31 pm. Are there updates? Have we heard from them ever since? Will we ever?

    • @Klear
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      427 months ago

      This will be bugging me all day.

      • Xhieron
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        157 months ago

        Oh you.

  • @telllos
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    297 months ago

    Respectfuly, I’m in tears.

    Gold

  • Dizzy Devil Ducky
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    177 months ago

    From an academic standpoint, yeah that wouldn’t fly if I was the professor, but on a personal level, I 100% relate. Insects are horrible creatures!

  • @[email protected]
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    117 months ago

    I have fought a grizzly bear,
    Tracked a cobra to its lair,
    Killed a crocodile who dared to cross my path.
    But the thing I really dread
    When I’ve just got out of bed
    Is to find that there’s a spider in the bath.

    I’ve no fear of wasps or bees;
    Mosquitoes only tease;
    I rather like a cricket on the hearth.
    But my blood runs cold to meet,
    In pajamas and bare feet,
    With a great big hairy spider in the bath!

    I have faced a charging bull in Barcelona! I have dragged a mountain lioness from her cub!
    I’ve restored a mad gorilla to its owner…
    But I don’t dare face that tub!

    What a frightful looking beast,
    Half an inch across, at least:
    It would frighten even Superman or Garth.
    There’s contempt it can’t disguise
    In those little beady eyes
    Of the spider sitting, glowering, in the bath.

    It ignores my every lunge
    With the backbrush and the sponge.
    I have bombed it with a present from Penath.
    It just curls into a ball;
    Doesn’t seem to mind at all,
    And simply goes on squatting in the bath!

    For hours we have been locked in endless struggle.
    I have lured it to the deep end, by the drain!
    At last I think I’ve washed it down the plughole…
    But here it comes a-crawling up the chain!

    Now it’s time for me to shave,
    Though my nerves will not behave,
    And there’s bound to be a fearful aftermath.
    So before I cut my throat
    I will leave this final note:
    Driven to it by the spider in the bath!!

  • Dr. Moose
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    7 months ago

    I live on a ground floor in a tropical country - this is my reality every morning I open the front door.
    When you live on a ground floor you have to really cover up all nooks and crannies and one major area is the gap at the bottom of the floor. So, we use these sticky door gap covers (like this one) that also act as traps for tiny bugs that could fit through it. Well those tiny trapped bugs attract predators and while they are too big to get in there they can sense prey and chill in front of your door which is a sure way to get spooked once you open the door in the morning :O

  • @SpaceNoodle
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    -37
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    7 months ago

    Better plot twist: the professor docks them ten points for misspelling “vessel.”

    Edit: LOL, downvotes from people trying to find meaning in this clear error.

    • @[email protected]
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      327 months ago

      Hello friend. Vassal is actually not misspelled, and is a different word from vessel. In this context, the vassal of horror would be an emissary or owner of lands of horror.

      • @SpaceNoodle
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        7 months ago

        Thanks, I’m literate.

        They clearly meant “vessel.” Quite the mental gymnastics trying to come up with a reasonable meaning behind the misuse of “vassal.”

        • @[email protected]
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          257 months ago

          Take the L, m8.

          I’m literate. They clearly meant “vessel.”

          I’m less convinced of either of those statements now than I was before.

          • @SpaceNoodle
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            7 months ago

            I’m not going to pretend I’m wrong just to stroke your ego.

            My only mistake was thinking that others would clearly see the error.

      • @SpaceNoodle
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        -227 months ago

        Or they were trying to write “vessel.”

    • @hedgehogging_the_bed
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      67 months ago

      I agree that “vassal of horror” is an unusual turn of phrase but the amount of arguing about this post online just about that phrase alone is staggering. It almost makes wonder if the original note was written by a AI-bot since it’s the exact kind of unique phrase that -sounds good- but hasn’t come up organically yet in any other published work.

      • Cethin
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        97 months ago

        But that’s the opposite of what AI tends to do. It tries to predict words that fit a pattern. It wouldn’t come up with a new turn of phrase that sounds good because it isn’t creative. It has no idea about what “sounds good.” It would use a phrase it’s seen many times before, because that’s what it trained on. Often that ends up being incorrect, but it’s written like a normal human would write because it’s literally copying what they wrote. It isn’t creating new stuff.

      • @[email protected]
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        47 months ago

        College students learning new terms are predisposed to coming up with phrases that aren’t common and only partially make sense.

      • @dingus
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        27 months ago

        Idk I feel like I’ve seen this image before the AI craze hit, but maybe I’m wrong.

        • @SpaceNoodle
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          -17 months ago

          Yeah, it seems to be at least a year old. Good old-fashioned stupidity is timeless.

      • @SpaceNoodle
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        -17 months ago

        It’s probably a combination of autocorrect and the original author not knowing the word “vassal.”

    • Cethin
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      -47 months ago

      I have no idea why people are being so aggressive to “correct” you. You’re almost certainly right. Horror is not the liege of this bug. It is a thing which contains horror. It’s a vessel of horror, not a vassal of horror.

      • @SpaceNoodle
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        -37 months ago

        People tend to hate feeling like they’re wrong, and would rather blame the messenger rather than admit to a mistake.