Big argument with my partner last night. 12 years, two kids, one dog. It’s hard man. So much pressure, so many missed meanings, so many regretted words. Some ethereal thinking music on the walk with the doggo this morning - https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=sUn3tQTeBtg&si=8z0KsaEHL5QEQVNc
It can be so hard, but maybe it can be seen as an opportunity to reconnect? Heat of the moment things can be painful and but sometimes we need to look past them. Small things over time become bigger things. We all want feel seen, heard and validated and beyond that see actual lasting change or improvement. Hope you can come to each other with kindness.
Hey thanks. Nail on the head. Hope you have a good day.
if you love her if you feel you can’t live without her tell her
Bro I absolutely know those feels. Last couple of big fights its gotten to the point where I’ve started to suggest we get some professional help. Take some time, take some deep breaths, but just know this is all normal.
Hopefully with some good communication, you guys can make some decisions that will suit you both - no matter what way it goes. Be kind to yourself today!
so its been a week. Had to take kid to emergency yesterday. Hes been released and fine now, just a bunch of viruses running rampant on him but the MCH and GP both said “yeah, lets get the hospital to check him out”. I thought I kept my cool under pressure pretty well, but came home last night got him to bed and just kind collapsed on the couch like “holly fucking shit that was one of the hardest days of my life”.
It comes very close to the 12 month anniversary of the LAST hardest days of my life that also involve a him and a hospital. So if we made a year before taking him to the hospital we’ve done pretty well. Shout out to the MCH Hotline, the GP and the Monash health staff. All were simply amazing.
It’s important to recognise how exhausting kids are, especially when they’re sick and needing that extra hospital help. We get so caught up with keeping up that we forget it’s okay to stop and rest, so enjoy that couch time.
I’m glad Tinyest is only ordinary sick rather than Dangerous Sick. Poor lad
There seem to be some shocking viruses going round lately, I’m glad he’s ok. It’s hard when kids are sick, it’s exhausting and also mentally fatiguing.
Gah! I just remembered, went and made it and then realized I was beaten.
I should look into automating these.
Possibly Brisbane has one, ‘brisbot’ makes their daily thread. May they could kindly share their method? Would be awesome if it could be automated!
🍪
Yes. Automation. Good.
What ever happened to the bot? You had it going for a while didn’t you @[email protected]?
Poor bot suffered death by Lemmy upgrade.
That would be so good. Can we call it Melbot?
How deplorably uncreative. Why not Ermingertrude or Sveinn the Snaggletooth?
True. I just want them to feel at home with brisbot and sydbot. Melbot doesn’t really need an extravagant name because they stand out anyway.
I actually already have a pet bot. I use it for admin tasks and testing, mostly. I don’t know at this point whether I’ll use that one, or make something new.
A quick google search showed me something promising: https://github.com/RikudouSage/LemmySchedule
I’m at work now and not actively working on this.
When working from home, is it acceptable to work in your jammies?
I’m wide awake, but I’m really comfy
not only is it acceptable, it is expected
Absolutely. Just have something nearby to put on the top half for any video calls.
What Cake said. Half an attempt at a hairdo and a top. No pants required!
Business on top, jami-party on the bottom!
Tried something novel last night. Went to bed without the aid of electronics. Phone went on the charger and my head hit the pillow. 8 hours of sleep later, I feel fantabulous.
I really need to get back to doing this.
I have my moments, but generally when I go to bed I’m not sleepy enough. Just need to push through on the couch before going to bed I guess.
I have been trying to go to bed at roughly the same time each night, regardless of how tired/sleepy I feel.
I have found that it actually does help with getting to sleep: even if I think I’m not tired when I go to bed, I actually fall asleep quite quickly.
My struggle is with falling asleep when only mildly sleepy. One little mental jolt and I’m awake again.
Generally I’m in bed between 11-11:30 but some days that gets pushed out past midnight.
This is exactly it. I toss and turn and can’t settle my brain even if I’m physically tired. Like I need to be numbed. I could at least try a book and not be on my phone.
I chalked it up to living an alarmingly sedentary life but it seems like that’s not all.
It’s a good feeling
An evening of video games and music I think. Tomorrow night is an emo event which should be fun.
Also, am desperate for a shitty Domino’s pizza but am sticking to my chicken and veggies dinner.
What game are you playing? I’ve got sucked back into Minecraft myself.
I’m playing Outer Worlds. Not usually my sort of thing but the story and writing are incredible!
Am gonna give fallout 4 a try tonight just to see what it’s like.
Just got stared down by this big fella. Almost my height (193…😳)
Bruce is reminding you who’s patch this really is.
Do you even lift, bro?
Seriously though, they are surprisingly tall. I remember going out the back after dark when I lived in regional Vic and almost walked straight into a big fella like this (I’m only about 168cm tall and it was clearly and obviously much taller than me!) We stared at each other in silence for a moment, and it just had that strangely expressionless look that they have, before I very slowly and with no sudden movement backed back into the house and closed the door, resolving to never go out the back after dark ever again.
Good decision.
did you win
I left feeling intimidated.
The wiser choice. Ditto your car will not defeat a wombat.
haaa. one group’s email lists at work have buggered up, and they’ve been emailing the entire organisation (thousands of people) instead of just the people on their lists. We have been receiving weird, random emails for a couple of days, and they have just figured it out…
Please stop Replying All
it was effectively that: it was an email to the malfunctioning lists saying “we have received lots of emails alerting us to the issue. no need to reply”.
hahaha
Seems like your org is in good company then - I thought this mostly died down in the 2000s but I was wrong!
About 1/3rd of the way through making the chilli dust. Wore gloves as per Seagoons very sage advice and it went through them heh.
For the next 2/3rds I will double glove, and wear an N95… and goggles.
This morning was brutal.
went thru!? that is brutal
all my chilis are still green so I have them in a bowl by the afternoon sun window
spoiler
ooh nice.
I’ve also read that putting bananas and apples in the bowl is a thing too but I’m not sure if that actually works.
Only if you enclose the whole bowl in a paper or plastic bag. The apples/banana gives of ethylene gas which ripens the other stuff. Same as colesworth does in its warehouse when it wants to sell us ‘ripe’ fruit.
colesworth does in its warehouse when it wants to sell us ‘ripe’ fruit.
TIL that’s unsurprisingly naughty.
Tea time. I bring bickies.
I feel sorry for the little dude on the left wearing green undies and ball gag mask just fell into the pile.
i didn’t expect to use that sentence today.
He’s got a mate. Look on the right.
An orgy of biscuits. I’m in! ☕
Ahem, I live at *******************, will happily provide tea/coffee/milo/something stronger.
Was kinda hoping the nicely marbled little kitties would be a thing. Any away…
Oh no I have been caught out! Subtlety thy name is not Fish
Oooooh
Hoped to get done with work early but the shite hit the fan so I’m working back to clean up. luckily I’m WFH today so I have poured a glass of wine and opened a packet of chippies to see me through. cheers 🥂
wine /alcohol talk
Also shout out to tread softly wine ~10-15 bucks a bottle, low preservative (one of the few that doesn’t leave me with a head ache) and slightly lower alcohol. They do a couple that are about half strength too which is good if you want a wine but without the wine headache. I’ve tried a few zero alcohol ones but few taste just right to me
I was a taxi so beer o’clock didn’t start until now. Cheers. 🍺
I’ve tried the ‘Pure’ drops. Undecided if the help sulphur headache or not. Maybe? They’re cheap enough I’ll continue just incase
Cheers ears 🍺
You are a monarch, the ruler of your domain. Do not let the petty squabbles of the peasants disrupt your peace and joy. Have a drink on me, friend 🥂
haha agreed 👑
I’m getting yt recommendations on how to be an elegant and chic older woman.
Seems I should only wear red nails and lips, never wear anything but simple hoops and studs, no long hair , no dyed hair, no fun clothes, only classics, lots of gold, beige, sailor stripes and be very very thin
If there is no room for my mushroom pants and matching earrings or totoros on my finger nails or bag I’d rather not be chic
well, chic for when it calls for it, otherwise, I’m a carlton/brunnie girl
Totoro is awesome.
You do Totoro nails? Yay! I have been known to Resident Evil.
Otherwise, fuck that shit!
Is that Jenny Kee? Remember her 3 arm jumpers? They confused the shit out of me.
Yes it is. I don’t always like her stuff, but colourful and loud is funtastic. Says the Goth…
yeah, I have these totoro stickers. :)
deleted by creator
No mention of Aldi hoodie?
IKEA jock strop is more amusing
If you wear an Aldi hoodie, you’re leagues ahead of anyone else fashion-wise
I will unironically be pursing several pairs of the Aldi socks. They make excellent socks
Boring. I think you’ll be fine as long as you don’t wear a boob tube with leggings.
It rained in Perth today. We are not equipped to handle it.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-04-12/freak-storm-causes-damage-in-perth-northern-suburbs/103702586What is this wet stuff falling from the sky?!
The story so far: in the beginning, the universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
But then there were Cats and everything got better
Not for the mice.
These creatures you call mice, you see, they are not quite as they appear. They are merely the protrusion into our dimension of vast hyperintelligent pandimensional beings. The whole business with the cheese and the squeaking is just a front.
So long and thanks for all the fish
Yesterday’s car expedition and dilemma took a huge chunk out of me. Not so much the travel, but I think feeling like I was internally pitting my friends/family against each other in terms of their values.
rambling
On the one hand there’s a sort of “you middle class wimps are suckers worrying about the wrong thing” vibe from working class folks who have a long history of driving shitboxes that they kept running with mates or family doing the servicing. Higher risk tolerance to save on money upfront. More likely to buy from an auction and make it work. DIY everything as much as possible. If not then flog it off.
On the other there’s people who call that a “poverty mindset” and point out that thinking that way traps people in the same financial situation because of the false economy from cutting corners, relying on a cycle of people undervaluing their time and effort on these things (rather than on building their capacity to earn a higher income and not need to worry so much about these things). Almost as if to say “don’t end up like those suckers thinking they’re being smart - look at where they’re still at after all these years, they don’t see the bigger game”.
That’s not taking into account personality differences and everything. These are all other people that have nothing to do with each other but I find it hard to come to my own conclusion and not feel like I’m taking sides for some reason.
Anyway, the person I trust most was once in the first category but worked his way up into the second and gave me some very sound advice based not just off personal anecdotes but opportunity cost etc etc.
And the people I know in category one, I do love them to bits, but I’ve come to realise, I actually really, really don’t aspire to be them… and it feels bad to admit that even to myself.
As someone who was in category one but is now in two, here’s my take on it. Category 1 is great only if you are either mechanically handy yourself, or you know people that are. Category one people are not really taking a risk, they have a cousin/freind/inlaw who can help them do work at low or no cost if needed, only parts. So if you are not in that social situation category one is more risky, because you may have to fork out $$$ if something major breaks down. Nothing wrong with having reliability and low running costs on your list of priorities for car selection.
Thanks, yeah I think their appetite and experience with risk is very different from mine. It’s very much like the culture I’m from and many of my extended family are like that. Nothing’s ever officially done, everyone knows a guy who knows a guy.
But tbh for an asset that has huge safety implications, I think it has a huge impact on resale value to not document regular servicing. I might trust my cousins, but how could I expect a total stranger to if my cousins can’t put their name on it? Especially as you can’t make up for missed services later…
Anyway, I definitely feel more at ease with my decision. I do want to live frugally but I’d like to be smart and realistic about where to save the money.
this working class tendency of some people to keep people down has always puzzled me.
i think it’s an attitude and behaviour borne of fear, resentment and jealousy,
i just don’t get it, surely financial stability is worth so much in quality of life, being stressed about bills is a little hell
and so many people hate work, really hate any kind of effort that isn’t simple immediate gratification, it’s like work is an evil thing
another thing, sometimes people just aren’t that smart, there is no higher capacity to do anything more that what they are doing
Yesterday’s car expedition and dilemma
I LOVE a good car dilemma! Feel like sharing again?
Well, there’s a lot of factors to consider so it’d take forever to write, but the gist of what was at stake with the conflicting advice was:
Would you rather take a chance on:
-
a car with full service logs but higher kms (200) and cosmetic panel damage (rear passenger door likely hit a wall corner, some scratches near wheel starting to rust, small dents, plastic flashing damaged. Doesn’t look horrendous but is noticeable).
-
Or a car that has lower kms (168) and no panel damage but has been listed for months with 5 price drops from 13k down to 10.5, “partial logs”, and upon inquiry seller has left country and car is being sold by family? (Family seems legit)
Both roadworthy Japanese hatches, similar age, size, features. Just need something for commuting 2x week and getting around town, occasional country drive. Likely to get more scratches and dents if my niece learns to drive in it.
what I didn't get
My working class friends thought car 1’s panel damage was a big no no and were rattling off how expensive it is to fix, insurers wouldn’t touch you (I would only ever want 3rd party anyway), resale value is trashed, you could only get scrap value, it’s so obvious the seller is trying to hide and is dreaming with the price they’ve listed it for (8700) - bearing in mind everyone expects you to negotiate down.
That’s all well and good but when it came to the second car it’s like there were zero red flags - almost like they were quick to come up with excuses as to why I’m overthinking and it’s no big deal. Especially the statement “I don’t look at logbooks” like I’m some spoiled city idiot for caring about that. I hoofed it all the way out to Gippsland assuming their vibe check could be relied on.
Well guess what, car 2’s “partial logs” had a gap from 30k to 150k… and was bought ex-auction in 2016. Who knows how many owners since, plus it wasn’t doing country miles, it had been in Bellfield before the owner left, and been parked outside under for the last 4 months. Has a new head unit but it didn’t even connect to my phone. And if we’re going on external condition it looks worse than the photos (clear coat peeling on handles, window trim paint flaking, keys look like they’ve been driven over, one is partly unusable).
I’m seriously second guessing my friends’ gut feelings now, like how could they not have seen that coming? Why were they so quick to assume #2 wouldn’t be dodgy? Wouldn’t a lack of service history be an issue with resale value too?? Apparently not…
So after having written off car 1 I’m now back to thinking maybe it isn’t so bad in the scheme of overall expenses/value. I’d rather save money by having cosmetic issues, than on a dodgy service history. I don’t care so much about scratches anyway as my niece will probably learn some driving in this. Just need it to be reliable for the next 2-3 years.
Anyway, that’s what I’ve been stewing on.
In terms of actually picking a car, there are other factors at play for me anyway (I preferred how the first car handled, it has more storage, met the owners and liked them, though it’s an unusual Honda model so parts will be more expensive). And I’d get a pre purchase inspection with any car regardless.
And I know there’s other cars out there of course. But I do want to decide soon. I’m tired of car sharing…
on paper, option 2 is the better option, right? 200k is a lot of km on anything other than a Toyota. But yeah, the “trust but verify” statement couldn’t be more applicable to buying a used car. We brought a second hand lancer recently and honestly couldnt be happier. The guy was nice, it was a good vibe but we still had a mechanic verify his claims which all checked out. Whatever you do, dont buy a Mazda 6 Diesel 🙃
On paper, until the lack of logs and history came up. I’m starting to be of the view that it’s not just a matter of kms but how those kms were driven. For what it’s worth, car 1 was a Honda and car 2 a Hyundai. I’m sure Hondas can go on for quite a while…
Noted re Mazda 6, I’ve seen a fair few pop up on my search. Am also avoiding anything diesel tbh
-
