• @IDatedSuccubi
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    9811 months ago

    This is what I and many other programmers have done (not the removal, but fake delays), because it improves user experience, actually:

    1.When the user clicks a button that should take long in their mind (like uncompressing a zip file etc) but is actually fast, it might seem like something is wrong and it didn’t work

    2.When the user transitions between layouts of the application, if it loads everything too fast it will look too abrupt, a fake delay will be made here if a transition animation is not possible/doesn’t fit

    • @alokir
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      5411 months ago

      I was working on an enterprise web application, there was a legacy system that everyone hated and we replaced it with a more modern one.

      We got a ticket from our PO to introduce a 30 sec delay to one of our buttons. It sounded insane, but he explained that L1 support got too many calls and emails where users thought said button was broken.

      It wasn’t, they were just used to having to wait up to 5 minutes for it to finish doing its thing, so they didn’t notice when it did it instantly.

      We gradually removed that delay, 10 seconds each month, and our users were very happy.

    • Flaky_Fish69
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      3211 months ago

      next, you’ll tell people the door close button in elevators doesn’t actually work.

      • @IDatedSuccubi
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        5211 months ago

        I’m pretty sure it’s either a myth (that it doesn’t work) or some US-centric thing, because when I worked as a delivery guy, I used to go through probably hundreds of different elevators in high-density residential buildings, and most of them have doors that stay open very long to allow baby strollers and heavy appliances to be placed inside, and on pretty much all of these the door closing button works, immediately closing the door

        • stankmut
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          811 months ago

          Most elevators I’ve seen in the US have a minimum time for the doors to be open. Hitting the closed button won’t do anything, unless you had hit the open door button to keep them open past that time. So if you hit the open door button right before the doors closed to let someone in and they tell you they are actually going down, you can hit the close button and it’ll immediately close.

        • KairuByte
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          611 months ago

          It’s entirely configurable, and up to the building management. While there is likely a “local default” that doesn’t mean it can’t be changed.

        • @[email protected]
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          211 months ago

          The door close button does nothing in Canada but in the middle east it actually works immediately. I was shocked when I tried in the middle east I used to just do it for fun in Canada.

          • @[email protected]
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            611 months ago

            In Germany it also works as expected. I remember that we always pressed it like crazy in university when the elevator was already very full, so it didn’t even open when it stopped before the ground level.

      • @meisme
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        411 months ago

        They work in Canada but not America

    • exu
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      2811 months ago

      Is there a secret flag to disable the delays? Would be kinda awesome to have for “thosa in the know”

      • @IDatedSuccubi
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        711 months ago

        Most probably not, at least in my programs I’ve never made a flag, because my delays are usually no more than 3 seconds anyway

      • R0cket_M00se
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        1011 months ago

        Buys Ryzen 9

        “Damn! Why is it so fast?”

      • @[email protected]
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        711 months ago

        The CPU, working tirelessly to ensure your queries completed in just under 100 million cycles (assuming 1 thread and 4Ghz):

        “Am I a joke to you?”

    • @[email protected]
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      1411 months ago

      There was a financial calculator from HP that they made for decades. The newer ones were so fast doing large mortgage calculations that the users didn’t trust it, so they intentionally slowed down the results.

    • @[email protected]
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      1211 months ago

      My kid got a job at some place and was browsing through an update script for a customer. There were a bunch of random-seeming sleep and printf statements. He couldn’t make sense of it, so asked one of the more senior techs what was the deal. It was as you said. They had updated software/hardware at a customer’s site and the backups were going so quick that the customer was getting pissed because “There is NO way this is doing in 10 seconds what should take several minutes.” OK, the customer gets what they want. A judicious sprinkling of delays and meaningless messages. The 10 second update now takes a little over 4 minutes and the customer was happy again.

      • @derpo
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        511 months ago

        Oops we fixed it

      • kamen
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        211 months ago

        the customer was getting pissed because “There is NO way this is doing in 10 seconds what should take several minutes.”

        Shouldn’t they have access to the backup location as well so that they can verify that it’s fine?

        • @IDatedSuccubi
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          111 months ago

          Forcing the client to manually verify the integrity of backups each time is a bad user experiemce

          I know it sounds weird, but they would probably do it every time

        • @[email protected]
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          111 months ago

          They the customer? I think you’re overly optimistic about people. They the company my kid works for? Yeah, they have remote access to everything.

        • KairuByte
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          11 months ago

          While the customer may have access, you’re all but guaranteed they aren’t ever going to verify it. Most backups aren’t meant to be verified on external systems, and testing the backup would generally require actually restoring it somewhere.

          That said, some systems do have external tools to verify backups, but it’s not universal.

    • @[email protected]
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      1011 months ago

      First reason is just poor UI design. I’m sure there are billion ways to indicate a successful action even if it was immediate.

      • @[email protected]
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        11 months ago

        Imagine asking a person a math question like what 2 times 3 times 7 is (without you knowing the answer). If that person immediately goes like „42“ you‘ll most likely think that it’s a joke response and the person doesn’t take your question seriously. If however that person takes a few seconds to think you are much more likely to believe the answer.

        • @[email protected]
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          111 months ago

          With your overly simple example I would totally believe that person. With harder problems perhaps. Besides, machines are not human.

  • @[email protected]
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    4011 months ago

    Used to work with a guy who would put 3 second sleeps after every line in our Jenkins file. He would then say how he’s so busy because he has no time when he’s always waiting for builds to run.

    Chris, everyone knows what you were doing.

    • @[email protected]
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      11 months ago

      I was just about to share that article. Definitely worth the read for anyone wondering!

  • @ch1nomachin3
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    2011 months ago

    uh oh you need to buy the new iphone because the current update makes your old iphone too slow to use.😉

  • @[email protected]
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    2011 months ago

    You have to create your database without any indexes, then you can add them later for a speed boost

  • @Crackhappy
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    1911 months ago

    Users hate this one weird trick.

  • neo (he/him)
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    211 months ago

    For even better payoff reduce the sleep by 100-500 per major update

  • @[email protected]
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    011 months ago

    Who needs to add Sleep calls when you can just do your shitty every day naive implementation and let your future colleagues fix your mess.