Poor thing died of malnourishment.

Wow. Literal brainworms confirmed.

Satire is dead.

Had to confirm this is not the onion

I always knew he had worms for brains

Funny, the ancient aliens stuff usually involves a live goa’uld

Awww, now I understand.

This is the best summary I could come up with:

Several doctors noticed a dark spot on the younger Mr. Kennedy’s brain scans and concluded that he had a tumor, he said in a 2012 deposition reviewed by The New York Times.

About the same time he learned of the parasite, he said, he was also diagnosed with mercury poisoning, most likely from ingesting too much fish containing the dangerous heavy metal, which can cause serious neurological issues.

Doctors who have treated parasitic infections and mercury poisoning said both conditions can sometimes permanently damage brain function, but patients also can have temporary symptoms and mount a full recovery.

Dr. Clinton White, a professor of infectious diseases at the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston, said microscopic tapeworm eggs are sticky and easily transferred from one person to another.

He is a longtime vaccine skeptic who has falsely linked childhood inoculations to a rise in autism, as well as to other medical conditions.In the interview, Mr. Kennedy said he was certain his diet had caused the poisoning.

Mr. Kennedy has spoken publicly about one other major health condition — spasmodic dysphonia, a neurological disorder that causes his vocal cords to squeeze too close together and explains his hoarse, sometimes strained voice.

The original article contains 1,594 words, the summary contains 201 words. Saved 87%. I’m a bot and I’m open source!

That’s so awful for the worm.

The next episode of This Week in Parasitism is going to be lit.