I’m almost 50, and my knee kept me awake all night long. I have a son going in for a colonoscopy, so I tell my wife I may not be able to stay awake…I got yelled at for it.

God damn I wish I could find a job my broken body could do and get the fuck out of this house. Just leave.

End rant.

    • @ChamelAjvalelOPEnglish
      2•6 months ago

      Lonely and aggravating as all hell. Hate living with how filthy the house is, not having a job, etc, but it’s not like I didn’t try. I did work part time for about 15 years, but in my wife’s mind, it wasn’t a job and she didn’t have to help around the house. I did try to keep the house clean, by implementing chores lists so every one would help out (minor things just to help me to become accustomed to the pain that was going to happen), but they worked/went to school and therefore didn’t have to help…Yeah, I tried…

      • @[email protected]English
        1•3 months ago

        wait, why are all the household chores your responsibility?? why wouldn’t your wife have to help out?

        • @ChamelAjvalelOPEnglish
          1•3 months ago

          It’s just how she is. It’s pretty bad, as I can get into a lot o| trouble if I throw things away (as I am in just too much pain to go through all the stuff on the floors, counters, fridge).

          The worst part is, she will clean, and the kids will help, but not with me here.

          Erf! Spent a bit of time doing some cleaning today, and so…darn…sore…Fifty bucks says I haven’t done anything to her, though, and throw in another ten dollar bet as I’m certain she’ll get ticked that I put the sewing machine in my bedroom (not a lot of space in our house, but I make sure my work areas are kept decent).

    • @ChamelAjvalelOPEnglish
      1•6 months ago

      That’s a tough call. Before I attempted to leave in 2017 and was forced to push myself to working full time at electrical (as I couldn’t find a less physically demanding job), I could say a lot…But it’s been a long long time. There’s a few things I know I still enjoy.

      1. The act of solving. Rather odd, but I realized about 10 years ago that I actually really enjoy finding a solution. Unfortunately, though, I know it has slowed down some (as I’ve had trouble going through some of the code on code academy [C only], and that was about a year ago). This has come in handy with woodworking, programming, electrical, supervising, etc, etc.

      2. Lexicography, always wanted to write/create a dictionary for Cherokee similar to Robert M. Laughlin’s “The Great Tzotzil Dictionary of San Lorenzo Zinacantan”.

      There is a chance…I don’t know how great of a chance, as the stress of living here has kept me from doing anything overly complicated, but scripting (Bash, calc, gp/pari), to which would naturally include many console based programs. The last complex thing I did around 2017 is I modified the suckless program “tabbed” to utilize a script to create or add tabbed windows from a configuration file. (Used that for windows specified for writing code, debugging, man pages, reading/reviewing code/text/pdf/ps, calculator, and a file manager.

      So there is a chance that I’ve done that enough that I could relearn it all, but I just don’t know. I’m so god damned sore sitting, walking, etc. Also, this GERD like thing I got most likely from medicine for my pains makes living even more difficult…and then on top of all that, the stress of how I’m going to be treated. I just don’t know what I can learn, how well I can learn, or what my body is capable of. Hell, I don’t even know fully what I truly know…I’m already stressing out right now, and she’s not even home.

      And I can’t think any more at the moment. Sorry! Heh!