cross-posted from: https://infosec.pub/post/14650446

As I was growing up, my family had a couple of sayings I took for granted were universal, at least within my language. As I became an adult I have learned that these are not universal at all:

  • the ketchup effect. It is an expression meaning that when things arrive, they all arrive at the same time. Think of an old school glass ketchup bottle. When you hit the bottom of it, first there is nothing, then there is nothing and then the entire content is on your food.
  • faster than Jesus slid down the mount of olives. Basically a saying that implies that the mount of olives is slippery due to olive oil and Jesus slipped.
  • What you lack in memory, your legs suffer. An expression meaning that when you are forgetful, you usually need to run back and thus your legs suffer.

Please share your own weird family sayings.

  • @Redacted
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    286 months ago

    So apparently I have a similar contorted expression to my mother when eating sour food.

    My father always referred to this as my mother’s-maiden-name-gene. Let’s say her maiden name was Chaplin, he would say “Ah there’s that Chaplin gene again!”

    Being young I misunderstood this as a verb, ie. I was “chaplinging”.

    Cut to first year of school where I proudly waltz around informing any classmates eating fizzy sweets that the correct and proper term for their reaction is “chaplinging”. It was a few years until the penny dropped.

    • RachelRodent
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      96 months ago

      ha! on an unrelated note I didn’t know that the impression “the penny dropped” was in english always thought that the expression “jeton düştü” was isolated to my language (turkish)

  • VodkaSolution
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    246 months ago

    Never heard them but there’s something vaguely similar in Italian, going “chi non ha testa abbia gambe” literally “who doesn’t have head, have legs” used in various situations like when you go out and forget something (because you didn’t think of it) you gotta use your legs to go back and take it

      • manucode
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        6 months ago

        Similar in German: Was man nicht im Kopf hat, muss man in den Beinen haben. – What you don’t have in the head, you must have in the legs.

  • bizarroland
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    186 months ago

    If you’ve got a dead hooker in the trunk drive the speed limit.

  • @[email protected]
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    176 months ago

    What you lack in memory, your legs suffer.

    Where are you from? Over here in southern Germany it is quite common.

  • @[email protected]
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    156 months ago

    My mom comes from rural Ontario, so I grew up hearing the sort of things you hear on Letterkenny all the time. But I grew up in the city, and I slowly realized that nobody else talks like that

  • @[email protected]
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    146 months ago

    Grandma’s empty threat punishment to all my cousins: “I’m gonna jerk a knot in your tail”

    When something would strike you with immediate worry, like almost falling off a cliff, real ass-clenching moments, she would say: “That really pulled your pucker string”

    Love and miss that woman.

  • 2ugly2live
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    6 months ago

    “Let me put my eyes on you,” “I just wanna put eyes on you”: I don’t need anything, but I miss you and would like to visit

    “Jimmy legs” : Restless legs

    “Hotter than the devils draws (as in underwear) outsides” : It’s hot. No one uses “draws” for underwear anymore I guess, so I’ve started saying “hotter than the devils asshole” but it’s not as “poetic.” (Edit: Realize now it’s “drawers” but it always sounds like “draws” 😂 TIL)

    Edit: Forgot one. “Cabbgae story” : When I was a kid, my grandmother told me about the milk man and, for whatever reason, my next question was “and who brings cabbage?” The response was “the cabbage man” which my grandmother explained like it was gospel. When she would bring up something, we started going, “Oh, she’s got a cabbage story.” Now a cabbage story is some old folk’s story. Like, “back when I was a kid, I walked up hill both ways!” would be a cabbage story.

    • rigatti
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      116 months ago

      “Hotter than the devils draws (as in underwear) outsides” : It’s hot. No one uses “draws” for underwear anymore I guess, so I’ve started saying “hotter than the devils asshole” but it’s not as “poetic.”

      It’s actually “drawers” but I guess they sound the same in certain accents.

      • 2ugly2live
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        46 months ago

        Ohhh! Thank you for the correction!

      • @[email protected]
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        46 months ago

        When people spell what they hear, it’s the countryside victimized the most. It’s nearly the argument I had with Doctorov (a pointless effort, I’ll tell ya).

    • @gothic_lemons
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      56 months ago

      The cabbage story is real cute. Might steal it

      • 2ugly2live
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        56 months ago

        Grams pulled an uno reverse when I was complaining about the lack of buttons on tech. She said, “Oh, a cabbage story?” shook my soul 😂

    • @Bertuccio
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      26 months ago

      “Put eyes on X” is pretty common that I’ve seen.

  • @Jarlsburg
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    126 months ago

    A few from my grandfather and father which aren’t unique to them but aren’t universal:

    1. “red as a smacked ass” or just “smacked ass” - referring to someone who is embarrassed so their face is flushed or generally just a fool
    2. “Born on Wednesday looking both ways for the weekend” - someone with a lazy eye
    3. “Scissor grinder” - aggravating person, or someone who inserts themselves into other’s business. Ostensibly referring to a person who travels offering sharpening services because they come by unannounced and make a lot of noise in the street.

    Related, but not a saying, we had a family tradition at Easter where my grandparents/parents would put all the egg dyes together and dye a final egg a murky brown. That egg was given to the kid with the worst behavior over the last year. It was called the “pissmuckle” egg. There was no discussion after you got it either or any punishment, it was just a censure.

      • @Jarlsburg
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        26 months ago

        That’s what always happened since no one had the courage to just throw it away.

  • flicker
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    126 months ago

    “Everybody’s record starts somewhere.” If you’re considering doing something illegal, is this worth starting your record? (It’s also used to dismiss someone getting into trouble for the right reason.)

    I’m realizing that my previous one sets a bad tone for this, but I had hippie uncles, and we were all taught, “We do not cooperate with the police.” Some of us were recently reminiscing about one of my dead uncles and said, “We do not-!” And the rest of us said, “-cooperate with the police!”

    All the rest of them are your typical American South sayings.

  • @amotio
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    6 months ago

    I have recently heard similar saying with legs, meaning is the smae but different wording roughly translated from Czech:

    What is not in the head, is in the legs.

    Ketchup effect is good, i might use it when the situation comes. Thanks.

    • bizarroland
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      16 months ago

      Sounds like something similar to the American differentiation between “book smarts” and “street smarts”, which is typically called to testify when a person who knows how to mow a lawn, work a job, and pay taxes feels intellectually challenged by a person who knows math beyond basic algebra.

      Might have some orthogonality to the ever elusive concept of “common sense”, an apparently mystical concept that you either have or can never have depending on who is talking, which is only ever invoked to tell one person that their entire existence is worthless in the face of the fact that the person saying it has the magical elixir of common sense.

  • @[email protected]
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    106 months ago

    My grandma used to say “drinking coffe standing up brings bad luck”.
    While I’m not superstitious, I actually believe that taking the proper time to experience the little daily treats is necessary to get the best out of your day

    • Twitches
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      26 months ago

      I completely agree, I view it like meditation. Sit down and actually enjoy your coffee, sit and listen to music without distraction, sit and truly enjoy the moment. Without phone etc

  • @[email protected]
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    86 months ago

    “The goat man will get you.”

    Used as a warning when doing something careless that would invite predators. My great-grandma came to the US from the Czech Republic and told the story of a man who raised goats and would steal children and break into homes at night. It was a reminder to lock your doors and valuables, and to never walk alone in shady neighborhoods.

    I wish I could remember how to say it in Czech. It began with “Kuzubah”.

  • Lvxferre
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    76 months ago

    Plenty people in my family refer to cat kneading, in Portuguese, as “dancinha do leite” (milk dance). And I always took it as if it was as universal as “amassar pãozinho” (to knead bread). Well, it isn’t; I discovered this in my adulthood. Apparently it’s from Italian.

    There’s also bunch of references to someone making things worse as “batata verde” (green potato); like “xô, vá ser batata verde noutro canto” (shoo, go be a green potato elsewhere) or “[pessoa] é uma batata verde” ([person] is a green potato). I get the reasoning, but no idea where my family got this from.

    • Twitches
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      36 months ago

      I’m going to start using green potatoe, thank you.

      • Lvxferre
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        6 months ago

        If that was the case my cats are always overworking the dough. Specially when one of them sits on my lap to watch a video, she spends at least half a hour with “prrr prr [knead knead] [headbutt] prrr prr”. (She already got that my computer screen shows stuff like birds, mice and strings, but only if I’m nearby.)

  • @[email protected]
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    6 months ago

    “Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first.” - Find a way to do it yourself, because it isn’t happening otherwise

    • @Nutteman
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      76 months ago

      That one is in my family so I think it my be a bit more universal than you thought

      • @dosaki
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        26 months ago

        Unless… This is a family reunion?

        • @Nutteman
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          36 months ago

          I think we kiss now. I don’t know how these things are supposed to work I’m from the deep south

    • @MutilationWave
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      6 months ago

      My family too. They really looked down on cursing but shit was the exception. I remember my mom getting mad at young teenage me for saying “how the hell do you get this thing off” but if I’d said “this is bullshit” it would have been fine.

      Another classic. I had never heard her say fuck until she was so mad at me she said it. Then she became even more furious because I made her say it.