Do folks here have school age kids? Curious about parenting struggles and how issues have been resolved.
Have kids age 13,15, they are fun, and independent, but sometimes it’s difficult to be in the parent role. General issues of motivation to do anything off-screen, or indeed anything suggested by parents, even to come outdoors in summer. We still have ideas, skills to share, but conversations became so short, little chance for in depth discussion, or constructive projects. Traveling together can still be good.
I have an 8yo and an almost 10yo. My 8yo has “big feelings” and has had a hard time making close friends at school. She had one last year that was mostly good, but they also clashed a lot and the other girl was constantly trying to distract my daughter in class, so they’re not in the same class next year. Learning in school doesn’t come as naturally to my daughter as other kids (including my son) and she has to work at it so the distraction is a real problem. We also think she is dyslexic — the school district “won’t label it” but will give accommodations based on assessment results and private tests are f-ing expensive. So we also have an (expensive) outside tutor to try to help her. It’s so hard. She’s so extroverted compared to everyone else in the family and struggles so much, and it’s hard to know how to help her without also burning ourselves or our son out.
Meanwhile my 10yo is the “easy” kid and just has attention issues, which he totally gets from his dad, but it doesn’t seem to line up with anything clinical so we’ve never bothered to get him tested. He’s just daydreamy. If he’s engaged, we have no issues.
I have a second grader and twins in preschool. The main struggle with our oldest was getting him diagnosed and medicated for his ADHD. He’s a smart kid but has always had trouble focusing and not fidgeting and the meds have really helped him excel in school
I have found that this site from the Australian government has provided lots and lots of useful information that can be used as a reference to prevent a lot of fighting https://raisingchildren.net.au/
My son is 14. He has ARFID, and a therapist.
I’d not heard of that before. Does the therapist help? If it’s ok I ask, at what point did you realize it wasn’t just “picky kid” and was something deeper?
Way too thin. Only 4 possible foods with vomiting if he tried anything else. Plus associated co-symptoms.
Therapist and nutritionist have been HUGE help.
That sounds intense and incredibly stressful. Kudos for all your hard work.
Meanwhile…
My wife is going through chemo for colon cancer.
Her aunt is living with us. She has Parkinsons.
The company I work for has been purchased by a competitor. No one is sure which department gets fired first.
My 80+ year old mom just had gallbladder surgery.
My 79 year old aunt just found out she needs spine surgery. I think she’d never survive it.
…and we still find ways to laugh. Being old and having lots of familiarity with death and grief helps. Perspective. All things fail. We fall short. And that’s OK.
You’re doing it. One day at a time.
You might be surprised how much this means to me. But maybe not - you reached out in the first place and seem to have knowledge of this type of trouble. But thanks.
Personally we don’t send our kids to in person school unless they have specially made bullet proof clothing. Though Imo we are a net and guidance when they need it. Support them with the materials they need but let them explore and become who they wish to be.
What I’m about to say is extremely controversial. Though I study psychology, sociology and developmental biology.
Also this is really important when your kids get around middle school sit them down and have a discussion about safety within relationships of multiple types and drugs they may hear about. There’s way too many kids dying from fentanyl or ruining their lives with an unwanted pregnancy. Coming from someone who when they was 5th grade almost having sex then having it around 7th on. I had no access to condoms and had a pregnancy scare. Also started weed at 6th grade but had nowhere safe to get it. Also please please let your kids know if they need to picked up from a part for whatever reason. You will be there!
