• The Snark Urge
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    1142 months ago

    7 insane assumptions

    Has anyone noticed how crazy I am?

  • Tar_Alcaran
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    672 months ago

    Plenty of straight men prefer cats too.

    Obviously cats are better

    • @bitchkat
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      212 months ago

      And plenty of people that aren’t straight men prefer dogs.

      • Tar_Alcaran
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        192 months ago

        True, but that doesn’t help me espouse on the superiority of cats. How else will I gain Mittens’ approval?

    • @[email protected]
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      62 months ago

      Cats are conflicting for me. They can be cute, but I hate when they try to walk on me. Because I know if I try to move them they’ll probably scratch me. And that’s no bueno to me, just makes me anxious as fuck when they walk my way while i’m sitting on a couch trying to relax.

      • @[email protected]
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        152 months ago

        my cats walk over me like i’m a carpet. sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night with a paw in my mouth or a cats ass on my face. but they never scratch me on purpose.

        • @[email protected]
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          22 months ago

          It’s more when I’ve tried to pick them up, they try to dig in because they don’t want to be picked up. It’s a catch 22 situation.

            • @[email protected]
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              12 months ago

              The problem is I tend to shift around a lot, and cats hate that. So i try to “nip it in the bud” to make sure to avoid the situation altogether, but sometimes they sneak up on me while watching a movie or something.

          • @rekorse
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            12 months ago

            Lol just keep pulling and the Velcro breaks

      • @[email protected]
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        142 months ago

        Dogs are too energetic and overstimulating for me to be around. I’m fairly allergic to them as well, so I have a decent excuse for the people who insist their dog will be perfectly well-behaved and calm (they weren’t).

        • wia
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          2 months ago

          There are some really lazy breeds out there. Like great danes. They are giant couch potatoes. You will have to give up your couch though.

      • Wave
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        12 months ago

        Thats why you always keep the claw trimmers around and if theyre too long you push on their toe beans a bit to expose the claw, and give it a little snip. You dont get hurt and the cat now has an objective to make them sharp again over the next few weeks

        • @[email protected]
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          52 months ago

          That’s good to know! Unfortunately all the cats I see are other people’s, and so it would be awkward to be like “hey before we sit down, can we trim your cat’s claws a bit?”

          • Wave
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            22 months ago

            LOL! That makes me want to do that

    • Pennomi
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      412 months ago

      I’m sorry, there’s a greentext on the internet that disagrees with you. You are a cat person now.

  • @Lizardking27
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    202 months ago

    What’s going on here is OP is making a lot of baseless generalizations.

  • THCDenton
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    162 months ago

    Straight man here. I love cats. But I hate litter boxes, and cats fuck shit up.

    • @[email protected]
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      52 months ago

      Same. Having a dog is too much like having a kid with how much attention they require. A cat even when it’s being “demanding” just wants to sit on you. You don’t have to take it for walks or go out and play in the yard. I love other people’s dogs but I don’t have time to have one of my own.

  • @[email protected]
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    2 months ago

    What do bisexuals and asexuals prefer? Both or neither? And bold of you to assume straight women prefer cats. Ik way more straight women who prefer dogs than cats.

  • @Shou
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    132 months ago

    Fucking being only a dog or cat person. I love most animals. The only issues are whether or not I can give them what they need.

    The amount of people buying birds and neglecting them is depressing. Same for dogs, but less so.

    • JackbyDev
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      72 months ago

      The stereotype (that I’m aware of) is that lesbians love dogs.

      • @captainlezbian
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        31 month ago

        Yeah you have dog lesbians (me) and cat lesbians (my wife if she wasn’t allergic). Mind you cats love me too, and I love them back. But yeah both groups exist as internal stereotypes.

  • @[email protected]
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    92 months ago

    Honest (and depressing) answer: dogs are larger and more expensive, so anyone who isn’t living on dual-income will prefer a cat. Being a woman is expensive, transitioning is expensive, being a guy who “just needs a bed and 4 walls” is cheaper, so dogs are back on the table.

      • @BigPotato
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        72 months ago

        Tampons and whatever the latest trendy things are?

        • @[email protected]
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          32 months ago

          I have no idea how many tampons a woman needs in a month, but a pack of 32 is €5 so that can’t be a big expense

          And whatever the latest trend is, is not something necessary so you can’t blame it on that either

          • @BigPotato
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            02 months ago

            Are you taking things seriously in a greentext post?

  • @SeattleRain
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    72 months ago

    Families and children prefer dogs.

  • @HauntedCupcake
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    2 months ago

    The correct answer is lizard. No musk, no fur, no allergens. Just needs an appropriate vivarium and a light bulb. If you design it right, you only need to spot clean once a week for what the woodlice don’t take care of. Feed him once or twice a week, you can leave him alone for literal days at a time. Costs less than £20 a month in food and electricity. Landlords love them, no chance of the tank bursting and water going everywhere. Literally safer than a fish.

    Best pet for the modern poor and disenfranchised citizen

  • Destide
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    52 months ago

    We’re through the looking glass here people

  • @Num10ck
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    52 months ago

    i’m pretty sure that amazing robotic pets are right around the corner, but i’ve always assumed that they would be doggy style. this post made me realize that in fact they should be alpaca.

  • @[email protected]
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    41 month ago

    Dogs are children who require constant attention.
    Cats are adults who just want to crash on your couch.

    • @NegativeInf
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      11 month ago

      My 8 year old toddler of a dog and my 3 month old middle aged cat confirm.