Definitely Glock Ness Monster

  • @RightHandOfIkaros
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    422 months ago

    Glocktopus.

    None of the other creatures have 8 Glocks.

    • FreshLight
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      162 months ago

      Very good point! I also like the “Sees you in a while” perk the Glockodile has, though. Something that’s alive for quite some time may know some secrets.

      • @RightHandOfIkaros
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        42 months ago

        If it sees you in a while, then he probably isn’t very good at dropping his targets.

    • @[email protected]
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      2 months ago

      True, but it’s slow on land, ordinary rounds only work on land, and it doesn’t voluntarily control it’s arms to aim. Honestly that seems more like a grenade on a roomba for most combat purposes.

      • @TheDoozer
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        52 months ago

        You’re looking at it all wrong. It’s like having an 8-man highly coordinated platoon with a brilliant commander and amphibious capabilities.

        Glockodile ain’t got shit.

        • @[email protected]
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          2 months ago

          Yeah, but tentacles can’t see. They’re firing blind based on instructions only.

          I suppose it’s still possible an octopus can convey an exact distant angle to a tentacle, even though that’s not an evolutionarily relevant task. Clearly, the only reasonable way to settle this is to steal an octopus from an aquarium, and force it to do dot torture drills on a paid subscriber stream.

          • dactylotheca
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            22 months ago

            Yeah, but tentacles can’t see. They’re firing blind based on instructions only.

            Since when did spray and pray stop being a valid tactic?!

      • @RightHandOfIkaros
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        52 months ago

        A grenade on a Roomba is exactly what the founding fathers intended all citizens of the United States to have.

  • @[email protected]
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    2 months ago

    I assume these pair with each other? If Glock Ness Monster doesn’t exist, does it win or lose?

    Otherwise, Glockatoo, since Glocktopus probably has shitty aim and Glockadile will have trouble with weapon elevation.

    Glocktopus would be the most fun to watch, though, hands/tenticles-down.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      22 months ago

      If Glock Ness Monster doesn’t exist, does it win or lose?

      Or is there even a winner?

      • @[email protected]
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        32 months ago

        On this glorious day, we all lose.

        If nonexistance is counted as anything but a loss, it’s the best choice. Glock Ness Monster makes the most modern nuclear subs seem obvious and unsurvivable by comparison.

    • @[email protected]M
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      12 months ago

      We could start some brackets, NCAA-style, but by the time you open your desktop, Glockatoo has murked everyone else.

  • @Wogi
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    72 months ago

    If I’m fighting against it, Glock ness monster. If it’s fighting for me, gloctopus.