CW: SA, pedophelia, necrophelia.
So if this is too dark, feel free to delete my post. I know that it’s pretty fucked up.
So about 10 or 12 years ago someone showed me a really old clip of a stand-up comedian who managed to deliver the most horrible, soul-crushing insults without swearing. It couldnt have been newer than the 1990s. I managed to memorize the essence of the bit, because it was so striking. It went like this:
‘What in the name of the legalized paedophilia of braindead children is that? That is so pretending your girlfriend’s vagina is a dead man’s eye socket so you can come. You, my friend, are the guilty orgasm of a rape victim.’
Sorry. I know it’s incredibly dark. I apologize if I upset anyone. Again, feel free to remove my post. I’ll delete it myself if people are really upset. I just really want to find this clip.
Thanks in advance.
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Based on age of the clip the only person I can think of is Sam Kinison, who was a shock comedian with a habit of punctuating some of his remarks by yelling “Ohh! Ooohhhhh!” You’ll know it was him by that if it was him. I can kinda hear that line in his voice, but I don’t recognize it.
I happen to be familiar with Sam Kinison, and it was definitely not him. This guy was skinnier. Thanks for your input, though.
Holy shit that last line. Goddamn. That might be the darkest shit I’ve ever read.
Yeah. I apologize. It just stuck in my brain because it is so incredibly dark. It’s like a twisted, perverse creativity, like a torturer who comes up with new ways to cause agony. I respect the depths this guy plumbed to come up with that, but it still makes me uncomfortable.
Not OP, but… No need to apologize. That’s a dark insult and I’m glad to have read it.
Thank you for the validation. I feel pretty insecure about posting it, to be honest. I don’t want to trigger anyone’s PTSD or something horrible like that. That’s why I added the content warning and all that.
Yeah, don’t sweat it. I wouldn’t have read it if I didn’t think I could take it, and if I couldn’t, it would be my own fault for ignoring your warning. I read a lot of dark shit, and this ranks up there. I have no idea who said it. One of the guys I work with said it sounds like old Jimmy Carr, but he never got quite that dark, I don’t think.
Yeah, this comedian was definitely American. But thank you for not judging me too harshly.
Honestly it sounds like a Dave Attell joke.
Thanks for the reply, but I don’t think it’s him. I looked up his stuff, and he doesn’t quite fit the bill. I think the guy I saw had a mustache with no beard, possibly reddish.
Ah he has a similar joke that goes:
"There’s a guy, let’s call him me, he’s fucking the left eye of a pumpkin.
‘If he didn’t want it why was he smiling at me?’"
I have no idea, but I hope you find them. They sound amazing to watch.
Right? It’s so creative. If you can stomach the content, of course.
