• @NegativeLookBehind
    link
    English
    61
    edit-2
    11 days ago

    So he wants to use a court of law to sue somebody?

    Hope he brings the right coupons!

  • magnetosphere
    link
    fedilink
    6111 days ago

    If someone steals your “vessel”, contact Starfleet immediately. If it has a cloaking device, though, you’re probably fucked.

  • Flying Squid
    link
    6011 days ago

    Steal your vessel? What was he, a pirate? Did he have an eyepatch and a pegleg?

    • @T00l_shed
      link
      2111 days ago

      Yarr, he flew the jolly roger, he did.

    • @stoly
      link
      1411 days ago

      I guess you drive a car but travel in a vessel.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        English
        911 days ago

        These people love their magic words. Of course, they never actually work, but it’s not going to stop them from continuing to try.

        • @stoly
          link
          1311 days ago

          These are the people who click on ads that say “the secret health fix your doctor doesn’t want you to know about”.

    • @Eheran
      link
      511 days ago

      Poor boat captain :(

    • @gothic_lemons
      link
      29 days ago

      No he clearly means his body! A solid gold copy of his berth certificate signed at 450 degree angle sent to the general of the Duke United Merchant Bank, will quickly banishment this illegal tryannt to twatlight zone and return control of his body

  • @TexasDrunk
    link
    4011 days ago

    It’s too late for this guy. He didn’t declare a fee schedule and jiggle his left foot 8 times at the time the tickets were issued.

    Don’t be like him. Contact me before any interaction with state tyrants for only $750/hr and I will teach you everything you need to know. You can be reimbursed from your straw man account that is held by the government so there’s no need to worry about the costs. Just go to my website where I sell dog bandanas with WWII insignias and click on the “Contact The Real Person” link.

    By reading this you agree to the fee schedule posted on my website. Anyone violating this will be held accountable in a court without a gold-fringed flag. I do not recognize the authority of a court that hangs the gold-fringed flag. A flag with gilded edges is the flag of an Admiralty court. An Admiralty court signifies a Naval court-martial. I cannot be court-martialed twice. that is all. Furthermore…

  • @jordanlund
    link
    2911 days ago

    I wonder if cops can just hand them a card that says “Your made up rules carry no legal authority.”

    • AFK BRB Chocolate
      link
      English
      2211 days ago

      I funny think any of those guys would listen to a straight “You’re wrong.” Maybe it would be better explaining that they didn’t do their incantations quite right. Like “Oh, that license plate can’t be accepted because it’s black letters on a white background, which puts it in the domain of the department of commerce, who have no jurisdiction in automobile accidents.”

    • @A_Union_of_Kobolds
      link
      1011 days ago

      I rewired a police station once. Literally the only poster they had up about groups to watch for was about SovCits, exactly how their nonsense “worked”, and how to handle them. It was pretty amusing, as an anarchist who wasn’t keen on that particular job.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        1011 days ago

        There’s a judge that literally wrote the book on how to handle them. I wouldn’t be surprised if they got the info from that.

        • @A_Union_of_Kobolds
          link
          510 days ago

          Not specifically, this was… 5 years ago? Something like that. Small rural town. I think I had a picture, but it’s long gone.

          It boiled down to “their arguments are nonsense designed to confuse you, just ignore what they tell you and ticket them. Be careful with the ones who are into homesteading, they probably have guns.”

    • verity_kindle
      link
      510 days ago

      This card doesn’t matter, because I can’t read anything I didn’t write myself or download from the guy selling the WWII themed dog bandanas.

  • AFK BRB Chocolate
    link
    English
    2411 days ago

    The store didn’t accept my monopoly money so I want to personally sue the cashier.

  • @Treczoks
    link
    119 days ago

    A psychologist might have helped, if consulted before the delusion had set in that deep…

    • @halcyoncmdr
      link
      English
      1911 days ago

      See the thing is, they are actually US citizens, even if they want to pretend they’re not.

      We don’t just revoke citizenship because people want to claim they’re not citizens. The US, like nearly all countries, does not revoke citizenship unless the person has another citizenship, they don’t intentionally make anyone Stateless as a matter of regular policy.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        4
        edit-2
        11 days ago

        That’s not entirely true, there is however a fairly specific set of actions you need to do to renounce your citizenship. If you remember the drama around Isis women wanting to return to their countries of origin the legal question a lot of times was whether they had effectively renounced citizenship, not that they had joined a state that America and such didn’t recognize as existing.

        The answer was mostly no, btw, they hadn’t actually renounced American citizenship in the way required, not that actual Constitutional definitions or legality matter to the state when it considers you an enemy, which is something these chuckleheads never really seem to understand.

  • metaStatic
    link
    fedilink
    711 days ago

    Who the fuck insured this idiot? oh right, fucking no one.

    There are ways to do this shit properly but you never hear about it because it’s not as funny.

  • @tee900
    link
    710 days ago

    Spending your life leaning into fictional ragebait. Do better things people. Do literally anything else.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    711 days ago

    It would be even funnier if they weren’t at fault, but still ended up getting their vehicle towed.

    I don’t think they’re getting that car back.

    • @PK2
      link
      1
      edit-2
      4 days ago

      The vehicle tow wasn’t because of being at fault/not at fault; it was due to no valid registration/license (can’t drive it away without those [in the real world]).

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    611 days ago

    You can absolutely sue, but it will be for imaginary money in a pretend court too just like your fake laws.

  • DominusOfMegadeus
    link
    fedilink
    411 days ago

    I brought in a legal consultant, my friend, the king of the cake-eating owl monkey people. The king is not optimistic about this Sovcit’s chances.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    -11
    edit-2
    9 days ago

    “ACAB unless they’re targeting people I don’t like” is not the take I expected from Lemmy today

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      7
      edit-2
      9 days ago

      You lack discernment. A bastard is still a bastard when he mistreats a delusional freak, but this post is about the delusional freak. There’s no reason why we can’t feel superior to both sides in a stupid squabble.

    • @surewhynotlem
      link
      49 days ago

      Bastards don’t automatically do everything wrong all the time. Occasionally not screwing up doesn’t make you a good person.

    • @surewhynotlem
      link
      49 days ago

      Also, I’ve seen this specific talking point like three times today across multiple platforms. Did you guys get an update or something?

    • Hanrahan
      link
      fedilink
      English
      -18 days ago

      Whike you have a point, when a bastard runs into a crazy guy, mayhem ensues, this is the result.