Decapitated head of Richard nixon

Going by seniority - the oldest person alive at any given time.

It’s a lifetime position with appreciable turnover.

I do reserve the right to track down and lightly stab anyone who says musk or spez.

Mike Tyson

Whoever won the lottery last (taking the higher-value jackpot in case of multiple wins on the same day and deciding by coin flip for winners of the same lottery). Wouldn’t you want the luckiest person in charge?

Every day a new dictator is drawn at random. To make sure they are benevolent m they are required to be administered a strong dose of ecstasy because people always have good vibes and make good decisions when on X. Once a week all of the laws the dictators made for the previous week are abolished and we start from scratch, because otherwise it gets confusing.

We need someone who the public knows to be a nice person. Someone already beloved by the public so they already have their trust and won’t have to earn it. And who is more beloved than actors? So it must be an actor!

But also someone who has more qualities than just acting, of course. It mus be a well educated person who has gone to the best university. Someone who has experience and has had succes in other areas. For instance, everyone on earth needs a place to live, so someone who has been in the housing business for decades would be great!

While a dictator is free to choose what to do, we need someone who can guide people. We need someone who can make deals, and I tell you I know, this guy is the best best at deals. If deals is your thing, and it should be, deals are very good to know, only the best people to deal in deals.

I know just the man for you, and I tell you, this man is the man, he is just the man you want as a man. He deals deals and knows people, the best people.

An added bonus, he would just love to be a dictator!

In order to avoid a conflict of interests, we should let the aliens rule the earth

Me. I’m not corruptible, fair, human, and I have humor. Guess, that qualifies me.

Shane Macgowan

Oliver Cromwell

My neck hurts

I like sleeping. I really like sleeping