The perfect way to mourn your mundane life.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
“Saying ‘no’ is a superpower, it will lead you to your true calling. Trust your instincts.”
“Want my morning routine checklist? Follow Matt Gray”
No. ( :
- wake up at 5:30am
Fuck right off.
wake up at 5.30 so you can be at your top shape by 8 am and earn that yacht for your CEO!
Imagine a cup of coffee being all you look forward to.
Funny how it’s not the worst idea but “this alone separates you from 99% of people” is like putting poison in soup and now the whole thing is ruined.
I’ve loathed people based on less information before, but not with this intensity.
every great accomplishment happens in the mornings if you’re only ever awake during the mornings.
There is a single insightful line in this whole image:
Your biggest enemy is distractions.
Unfortunately, this image is one of those distractions.
This is unironically close to my routine. I wake up at 5, walk the dog for 30-60 minutes, have breakfast, then start work before anyone else so I can get shit done before people start showing up. I wrap up my day around 2pm, walk for 1-2 hours, make dinner, then chill. It’s worked well for me.
You forgot to tell us what time you lift weights
He walks the dog. He doesn’t say anything about the dogs walking. I’m guessing he does dog curls on that walk.
“Boosts testosterone”. I bet this dude thinks of himself as an alpha male.
Soon to be a bald one, too.
it is well studied that certain exercise temporarily boosts testosterone in humans, but the longevity or persistence of this effect are quite varied.
It’s true that the “alpha” culture has a high interest in testosterone “boosting”, usually without even having their blood levels checked.
Terms like “connect”, “be present”, “superpower” tell me this is not for the average working person, but the higher paid bosses of such people who can do whatever they want.
It was the “no meetings before 2pm” and “3 hours of no distraction” that gave it away for me.
Hey, bud. I can’t leave the office after just getting there to go lift weights. I also have zero control over 80% of the meetings I attend. Dude has no idea how privileged he is.
Wake up at 5:30 and not have to deal with any bullshit from anyone else until 2pm sharp. 8.5 uninterrupted hours for long walks, “deep work,” and weightlifting. You know, the typical work day.
Saying NO is a superpower!
“Hey, Sanctus. Where are you going? I was hoping you’d finish that report before noon?”
NO
“Uh, OK? Guess I’ll see you at the meeting with our main customer then.”
NO
See how easy that is?
How’s your shift going? Looks like a pretty busy morning! Hey could you please make sure you catch the markdown on the bread? The bakery counter didn’t cover up the old barcode properly.
NO
Mate, it’s impossible to work with you, we’ll have to make you redundant, I’m sorry.
NO
“fuck, he’s got us. We’ll have to regroup and think of another tactic.”
while curling 50 lb. dumbbells
Its really easy until everyone complains I’m saying no, my review scores drop, and I get fired. Idk what kind of heaven exists out there where you can actually say no without the rest of the office dogpiling you like rabid corporate zombies but its not the place I work at. I could say no once, that person hold a vendetta, and give me a 1/10 on my review, costing me a raise. Its absolutely a fucking Klingon culture up in here.
It sounds like your coworkers lack honor! Perhaps it is time for them to experience Bij…
Saying no is a superpower, just not in the way the author of the original post intended. As comments like yours highlight, saying no to nonsense work is out of reach for the vast majority of people who would most benefit from it (i.e. workers who are bothered by managers). It sounds like your workplace is especially gruelling in that respect.
Its a slog for no reason, it doesnt have to be like this at all. The “leaders” create and actively maintain this environment. I have given whole presentations on how to fix it. They want it to remain a brutal revolving door.
This schedule is completely unrealistic even with privilege
No meetings until 2pm? Doesn’t matter what industry you’re in, guarantee you interact with industries that work 8-4 and will not bend over backwards to schedule you at the end of their day. Like does this person just not go to the doctor? Or deal with banking issues?
Wake up at 5:30am
Counter offer: go to hell
Couple big problems -
To start, this is a morning routine, not a mourning routine. While it is true that I often mourn the morn, dude needs to learn how to spell.
Second, if you’re up at 5:30, and not drinking coffee until 7am, and then have 3 hours of focused work, that right there is 10am. Your morning is supposed to be ‘won’ by this point, and you still haven’t gotten to the weight training part of your morning.
oh I’ll definitely be mourning if I were to wake up at 5
Mourning my will to live
I like how planning the morning the night before happens in the morning. That’s about how much I procrastinate, too.
If I’m waking up at 5:30am and not drinking caffeine for 90 minutes, I’m definitely mourning.
Wake up at 5:30 then go for a walk. It is recommended to take a 30 min to 1 hour walk in the morning. Also including prep time so I’d say about 15 minutes. So let’s say we’re at 6:45 now. Wait 90 minutes so now we’re at 9:45. Now making americanos at home is also time consuming if it isn’t pre prepped or if you don’t have a full espresso setup in your home, it could take 30 or 45 minutes and you’d have take it stronger to compensate for the ice melting in the hot cup. So now we’re at 10:30. 3 hours of work, 1:30. Lift weights; you can get that done in 30 minutes, but you also have to factor in cleaning yourself up or else you’re just going to baste in your own sweat all day until you shower. So I’d give that another 30 minutes. It is now 2:00, you’re late for your meetings which removes your “superpower” to say no, you didn’t factor in any time to eat lunch, your blood sugar is probably bottoming out because you had a very caffeine rich coffee drink and lifted weights without nutrients, and you’re going to feel like garbage until you get food in you.
Horrible plan
Haha, that’s quite the reality check. God I hate those grifters…
How is it taking you up to 45 minutes to make a cup of coffee? I can make a hot cup in ten, and most of that is spent waiting.
Because americano has coffee and espresso. And if you’re going to make it right, you’d need a coffee maker and an espresso machine. Both beans are usually more concentrated the fresher they are so grinding your own beans right before you make then drink is going to have a better flavor
An Americano does not contain coffee. It is just espresso and hot water.
I dunno, I feel like I’ve won on any day I don’t have to lift heavy things.
Keeping it noodley. ✊
