I ran a meeting today and it didn’t go as well as I had hoped. My video was delayed from what I was saying, was just overall more nervous than I had hoped to be which than caused me to rush (which didn’t help at all with the video delay).
I know logically I should just take this as a learning situation and do better next time. But I can’t stop thinking about it. I know I’m going to go to bed tonight and think about all the things I could’ve done better and not get any sleep.
How do people “change the channel” in their heads?
This is very familiar, I don’t know about changing the channel but I have learned to try and remember that other people also mess up at work. Your presentation was probably good enough for the people in the room, and they are unlikely to remember it as clearly or insistently as your mind does.
On the flip side people like us who constantly relive what is basically a minor issue, are actually more likely to deliver better results than the idiots blasting through life with the conviction they are the most talent person and god’s gift to the company ;)
I think most people drink or live in denial with themselves in order to cope.
A healthier way I’ve found is to try to think about a time where someone else screwed up at work. Think of a time when someone misspoke, got emotional, or got flustered. I have a hard time thinking of one and would be hardpressed to call-out a single story in specific. This is likely what others think of your mistake too. It only becomes an issue when you can’t adjust or grow. Dust yourself off, move on, and improve for next time.
I do think this comes with a caveat. There are toxic people and workplaces. This is its own challenge but may be contributing to your stress about things. There will be people that target you and belittle you for small mistakes. Work with them to complete jobs, don’t talk outside of necessity, and when you change jobs let them fade out of your life for good.
Before you go to bed, write. Get out what you think you’ve done “wrong,” how you might catch and correct issues before they feel big and overwhelming, or how it makes you feel that you’re unsatisfied.
This will help you get the clutter out of your head as you organize your thoughts into language, and help you keep from having it play on an endless loop as you try to sleep.
If you’re amenable, ask your dreams to offer you new perspectives, solutions, or even just a cathartic replay of what happened or didn’t.
Next morning, or even a few days later, revisit what you wrote, and do more journaling on the issues and feelings.
Write down those things you could have done better. Any time your mind is in a loop, write down the contents of that loop.
