Hi all, I just created this group so we could have a safe space sex discussion and advice group similar to the /r/sex subreddit.
I figured I could get the ball rolling with this post.
How do you feel about discussing your private sex life with your friends or coworkers? Personally if a friend brings something up I will usually answer without going into too many details. I don’t really say anything that I wouldn’t say in front of my partner, but don’t mind healthy discussion or the occasional joke. I do have friends that overshare, and friends that won’t discuss their sex lives at all. I know I wouldn’t mind if my wife shared some general details but I would be extremely uncomfortable if she shared any intimate details or preferences in the bedroom. Oddly, myself and my wife both find sharing anonymous details on the internet perfectly fine.
How does the community feel about this topic?
Thanks for creating this community. While /r/sex had overall good moderation, there was one specific mod that banned several people for bizarre reasons.
I believe in most of my mixed gender groups sex is a common and very open topic, but surprisingly, on same gender groups it’s less frequent.
Co-workers? Never. Don’t want to hear it, wouldn’t speak about it.
Depends on the co-workers/work environment. Office with “professionals” or older people, Yeah probs not a topic unless it’s the secretary’s between each other.
Entry jobs that have a bunch of teenagers/20s working probably a topic that comes up frequently.
Workies, defo a topic that’s common.
Most of my close friends are pretty open about most topics. Most of us are also polyamorous. So sex relates topics are pretty normal for us. I wouldn’t want to embarrass or hurt anyone but it doesn’t hurt to hype someone up and make them feel good about themselves in front of others.
In general terms we all talk about our sex life at work… But not in explicit terms or activities… That would be pretty weird. I worked with a guy who kept bragging that his wife gave him anal for his birthday and it was just so cringe.
I used to be more open when I was single. Now, my partner is very private, I don’t talk about it to anyone else generally. I may share details of my self play or kinks online.
Not unless someone I know is not gossipy has a specific question about a personal concern, if sharing my experience might conceivably help. Otherwise no. Private life is private. So I wouldn’t say never but it’s been very rare.
And yes - more open on anonymous sites but really only share for the same reason, if I have relevant helpful experience.
I think OPs lines are good general guidelines for appropriate conversation about sex with people other than your partner.
I was more lax about sharing details about hookups in my younger years before meeting my SO. It felt much less weird to brag to friends about those details when it was a random one night stand or Tinder hookup who they’ll never meet, vs. my partner who they’ll regularly see and interact with.
I keep my private life private. Don’t discuss with people other than my partner IRL at all. I do talk about it sometimes on the internet if it’s anonymized.
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Have never really talked about my sex lige with anyone, other than with my wife. Never even had friends bring up the topic. I had one coworker tell me about a medical condition affecting his sex life, said sorry and changed the topic. Work in an office, talking with coworkers about sex seems out of place to me.
I would be open talking with friends about it, if they brought it up. I am worried that it of I did, it may not be well received?
Coworkers, generally no. I generally feel like that’s not the place for it – and I have other shit to do in general.
Friends, I don’t really mind but I am mindful of anything that would be considered personal/intimate of my partners. I’ll speak of myself freely, depending on the friend and the context.
Generally a lot of my friends are pretty open and candid sexually, I’m surrounded by a lot of like-minded people who acknowledge how normal and important sex is. I can recall a lot of times talking about kinks or experiences with friends.
Coworkers–never. Friend “in real life”–never. That said, I’ve met people online that I’ve had some very good discussions with that tended to be very open about details. It’s nice to have the safety of distance when you find someone you can trust enough.
If someone starts being very open about hi’s/her’s sex life, then yes, I start being open as well. I usually don’t start first… unless I’m drunk or high, lol.
Though I have to admit that this openness can lead to unpredictable things happening between people (I’ve had it happen a few times), like you end up hooking up, which is fine if you’re single and all that, but not if you’re not, so I’d suggest not to actually do that if you’re not single. Just switch subjects and the other person should understand that you’re not really interested in talking about that.
I hardly share anything, mostly because my wife prefers to keep things private, but nonetheless friends tend to share a lot with me.
Situationally it may be because I was a stay at home dad for some years, & as such I’ve often been the only male around. Invariably someone will start with, “well you’re a guy-what do you think?”
🤷
It’s tough to do, but assuming everyone’s comfortable and no one’s telling secrets I think it’s good to share.
